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Active member
Jan 6, 2020
Hey there non-binary and genderqueer folks,

I'm currently struggling with finding the right pronoun for myself, so I thought I'm gonna ask what pronoun you use: he/him, she/her, they/them or something like ze, hir, ey, etc.? Or no pronouns at all, but just your name?

Since I'm not out of the closet with most people yet, I'm usually referred to with "she/her" as I'm AFAB. But I don't know if I really want that. I mean, I'm used to it, but it somehow feels "wrong". But he/him feels "wrong" as well. Here in Germany, we don't really have gender-neutral pronouns like "they/them". So it's very, very confusing.

I also often struggle with finding the right word for myself when it comes to job titles for example, because if you speak/write genderwise correctly we have a feminine and masculine word for most titles. Like I'm a writer, there's the word "Autor" for men and "Autorin" for women. I never know what word to use for myself. So far, I'm mainly going with the feminine word, because people expect me to use that term (cos they think I'm female).

Ooooh, it's so complicated. I wish there would be gender-neutral words and pronouns like in the English language.

Kind regards,


Staff member
Dec 10, 2019
Mim, I am female throughout the entire bit. I have a F indicator in my passport and my ID. So, this means, I am she/her, sie/ihr.  When I still lived in a semi gender fluid status, I used the pronouns of the gender I represented with my clothing at the given time.

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