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Moni

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
595
A welcoming message to anyone coming on who is a cross dresser! I am not a cross dresser myself, but I am on another site that has a number of cross dressers. I have really enjoyed learning the similarities and differences between my perspective as a transsexual and their's. It is a relationship of mutual respect. I have gotten a few lessons on non binary thinking as well, and it has opened my eyes some. I think the hardest thing I had to understand was that some folks can be satisfied with dressing sometimes and presenting male others times. There is certainly a spectrum of different paths that are possible. Anyway, I'm a visitor here myself, but I hope you will come here, feel good about sharing, and know that you are appreciated.
Moni
 

KimOct

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2020
Messages
207
Moni that is very sweet.  And I want to echo your thoughts.  Back in 2016 when I was beginning to transition I had some TS friends that were very critical of those that identify as Non Binary or cross dressers.  My thinking has radically evolved.

I do think SOME individuals that currently identify as such may shift their self perception at some point I also think that other individuals are on a different part of the gender spectrum.

So wherever you may see yourself on the gender spectrum WELCOME.  :)

But you have to talk to us so that we know you are here.  :D
 

Katie

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
1,272
This can also be a good discussion area for people who can't transition but still want to dress as their gender in private or limited social settings.
 

Moni

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
595
I would rather someone want to be a cross dresser, than have to be one. I have gotten to know some folks who are happy limiting themselves to cross dressing from time to time. It is all they want and are satisfied with this. Sadly, others, for so many reasons, are limited in what they are able to do. I guess I relate to  the distinct dissatisfaction that can be cross dressing, one way I knew I was a transsexual! It  drove me crazy being confined to one room and having to hide for so many years. [member=150]KimOct[/member] and I have talked about the continuum of gender. I guess we can be different and still have many similarities.
 

KimOct

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2020
Messages
207
As some of you that know me are aware the thing I preach the most is not letting fear control our decisions.

As in Katie's situation - transition is not an option at this time.  Her description rings true to me.

However I have met many people over the last five years that use rationalizations of why that can't transition when the deepest reason is fear.

For those that know in their heart of hearts they do not want to transition but choose to present as female - that is great!  Gender is a broad spectrum.  The desire to move along that spectrum is not a bad thing.

And for those that are not sure where their path is leading that's OK too.  Checking things out is a way to figure it out.

For each person that sees themselves as a crossdresser there are an equal number of reasons as to why.

Moni once encapsulated my goal much more succinctly than I ever did.  She said that I just want to see everyone reach self actualization.  YEP.

So if you say you are a crossdresser great.  Although many of us are trans we want to hear your thoughts.  :)
 

Katie

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
1,272
I am transitioning. Just very slowly and painfully. If circumstances allowed I could go full time today. HRT has done enough remodeling on me that it wouldn't be difficult to pass. But, with a wife and six kids along for the ride, I have to be really careful about planning and executing every step of this trip.
 

Tia

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 4, 2020
Messages
72
[member=141]Moni[/member] , I just love your diversity of thought. Thank you for bringing up this topic. Cross Dressing is a step that many or most of us visit at some point of the journey. Thankfully, some are able and content to go no further. I have been told the analogy of a drive along route 66 from San Bernardino to Chicago. You can get on the road, go as far as you want. You can stop anyplace along the route and either make your home there or after a short visit go further down the road. There is no right way to drive that road. If you can get off at the first off ramp and be happy it is cheaper, quicker and closer to home than driving all the way to Chicago. If it works for you, more power to you! I have several cross dressing friends and many of them are very content living in that manner.

I did realize one really big difference between my journey and a dear friend that is gender fluid. Back in the day, each time that I had to deconstruct myself, returning to my old presentation, it was getting harder and harder. Sometimes it had me in tears and finally I just couldn't go back any longer....it hurt too much. I brought this up to my friend and they responded that the more they dressed the easier it was for them to shift identities. They even looked forward to the changes back and forth. Eye opening and definitive for me.
 

KimOct

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2020
Messages
207
Katie said:
I am transitioning. Just very slowly and painfully. If circumstances allowed I could go full time today. HRT has done enough remodeling on me that it wouldn't be difficult to pass. But, with a wife and six kids along for the ride, I have to be really careful about planning and executing every step of this trip.
Sorry I misunderstood but my general point is the same just not in your case.  Well I guess it applies there too.  Our path is different for each of us and for different reasons.  I hope that everyone, anywhere on the gender spectrum feels welcome here and I believe it is also the wish of those of you that went to the amazing effort of creating this place.  :)
 

KimOct

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2020
Messages
207
Tia said:
[member=141]Moni[/member] , I just love your diversity of thought. Thank you for bringing up this topic. Cross Dressing is a step that many or most of us visit at some point of the journey. Thankfully, some are able and content to go no further. I have been told the analogy of a drive along route 66 from San Bernardino to Chicago. You can get on the road, go as far as you want. You can stop anyplace along the route and either make your home there or after a short visit go further down the road. There is no right way to drive that road. If you can get off at the first off ramp and be happy it is cheaper, quicker and closer to home than driving all the way to Chicago. If it works for you, more power to you! I have several cross dressing friends and many of them are very content living in that manner.

I did realize one really big difference between my journey and a dear friend that is gender fluid. Back in the day, each time that I had to deconstruct myself, returning to my old presentation, it was getting harder and harder. Sometimes it had me in tears and finally I just couldn't go back any longer....it hurt too much. I brought this up to my friend and they responded that the more they dressed the easier it was for them to shift identities. They even looked forward to the changes back and forth. Eye opening and definitive for me.
Excellent analogy. 
 

Maybebaby56

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2020
Messages
134
Katie said:
I am transitioning. Just very slowly and painfully. If circumstances allowed I could go full time today. HRT has done enough remodeling on me that it wouldn't be difficult to pass. But, with a wife and six kids along for the ride, I have to be really careful about planning and executing every step of this trip.
I feel for you, girl. I felt the same way, and my marriage had already disintegrated when I decided to transition (or at least try to). My boys were 13 and 9 when I came out and I was very worried about what impact it would have on them. My older son was very taken aback and has distanced himself for the most part. My younger son has been remarkably resilient and we have a good relationship now, pretty much what my therapist predicted.

I wish you much love and good wishes.

With kindness,

Terri
 
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