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Monica

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A welcoming message to anyone coming on who is a cross dresser! I am not a cross dresser myself, but I am on another site that has a number of cross dressers. I have really enjoyed learning the similarities and differences between my perspective as a transsexual and their's. It is a relationship of mutual respect. I have gotten a few lessons on non binary thinking as well, and it has opened my eyes some. I think the hardest thing I had to understand was that some folks can be satisfied with dressing sometimes and presenting male others times. There is certainly a spectrum of different paths that are possible. Anyway, I'm a visitor here myself, but I hope you will come here, feel good about sharing, and know that you are appreciated.
Moni
 

KimOct

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Moni that is very sweet.  And I want to echo your thoughts.  Back in 2016 when I was beginning to transition I had some TS friends that were very critical of those that identify as Non Binary or cross dressers.  My thinking has radically evolved.

I do think SOME individuals that currently identify as such may shift their self perception at some point I also think that other individuals are on a different part of the gender spectrum.

So wherever you may see yourself on the gender spectrum WELCOME.  :)

But you have to talk to us so that we know you are here.  :D
 

Katie

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This can also be a good discussion area for people who can't transition but still want to dress as their gender in private or limited social settings.
 

Monica

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I would rather someone want to be a cross dresser, than have to be one. I have gotten to know some folks who are happy limiting themselves to cross dressing from time to time. It is all they want and are satisfied with this. Sadly, others, for so many reasons, are limited in what they are able to do. I guess I relate to  the distinct dissatisfaction that can be cross dressing, one way I knew I was a transsexual! It  drove me crazy being confined to one room and having to hide for so many years. [member=150]KimOct[/member] and I have talked about the continuum of gender. I guess we can be different and still have many similarities.
 

KimOct

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As some of you that know me are aware the thing I preach the most is not letting fear control our decisions.

As in Katie's situation - transition is not an option at this time.  Her description rings true to me.

However I have met many people over the last five years that use rationalizations of why that can't transition when the deepest reason is fear.

For those that know in their heart of hearts they do not want to transition but choose to present as female - that is great!  Gender is a broad spectrum.  The desire to move along that spectrum is not a bad thing.

And for those that are not sure where their path is leading that's OK too.  Checking things out is a way to figure it out.

For each person that sees themselves as a crossdresser there are an equal number of reasons as to why.

Moni once encapsulated my goal much more succinctly than I ever did.  She said that I just want to see everyone reach self actualization.  YEP.

So if you say you are a crossdresser great.  Although many of us are trans we want to hear your thoughts.  :)
 

Katie

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I am transitioning. Just very slowly and painfully. If circumstances allowed I could go full time today. HRT has done enough remodeling on me that it wouldn't be difficult to pass. But, with a wife and six kids along for the ride, I have to be really careful about planning and executing every step of this trip.
 

Tia

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[member=141]Moni[/member] , I just love your diversity of thought. Thank you for bringing up this topic. Cross Dressing is a step that many or most of us visit at some point of the journey. Thankfully, some are able and content to go no further. I have been told the analogy of a drive along route 66 from San Bernardino to Chicago. You can get on the road, go as far as you want. You can stop anyplace along the route and either make your home there or after a short visit go further down the road. There is no right way to drive that road. If you can get off at the first off ramp and be happy it is cheaper, quicker and closer to home than driving all the way to Chicago. If it works for you, more power to you! I have several cross dressing friends and many of them are very content living in that manner.

I did realize one really big difference between my journey and a dear friend that is gender fluid. Back in the day, each time that I had to deconstruct myself, returning to my old presentation, it was getting harder and harder. Sometimes it had me in tears and finally I just couldn't go back any longer....it hurt too much. I brought this up to my friend and they responded that the more they dressed the easier it was for them to shift identities. They even looked forward to the changes back and forth. Eye opening and definitive for me.
 

KimOct

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Katie said:
I am transitioning. Just very slowly and painfully. If circumstances allowed I could go full time today. HRT has done enough remodeling on me that it wouldn't be difficult to pass. But, with a wife and six kids along for the ride, I have to be really careful about planning and executing every step of this trip.

Sorry I misunderstood but my general point is the same just not in your case.  Well I guess it applies there too.  Our path is different for each of us and for different reasons.  I hope that everyone, anywhere on the gender spectrum feels welcome here and I believe it is also the wish of those of you that went to the amazing effort of creating this place.  :)
 

KimOct

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Tia said:
[member=141]Moni[/member] , I just love your diversity of thought. Thank you for bringing up this topic. Cross Dressing is a step that many or most of us visit at some point of the journey. Thankfully, some are able and content to go no further. I have been told the analogy of a drive along route 66 from San Bernardino to Chicago. You can get on the road, go as far as you want. You can stop anyplace along the route and either make your home there or after a short visit go further down the road. There is no right way to drive that road. If you can get off at the first off ramp and be happy it is cheaper, quicker and closer to home than driving all the way to Chicago. If it works for you, more power to you! I have several cross dressing friends and many of them are very content living in that manner.

I did realize one really big difference between my journey and a dear friend that is gender fluid. Back in the day, each time that I had to deconstruct myself, returning to my old presentation, it was getting harder and harder. Sometimes it had me in tears and finally I just couldn't go back any longer....it hurt too much. I brought this up to my friend and they responded that the more they dressed the easier it was for them to shift identities. They even looked forward to the changes back and forth. Eye opening and definitive for me.

Excellent analogy. 
 

Maybebaby56

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Katie said:
I am transitioning. Just very slowly and painfully. If circumstances allowed I could go full time today. HRT has done enough remodeling on me that it wouldn't be difficult to pass. But, with a wife and six kids along for the ride, I have to be really careful about planning and executing every step of this trip.

I feel for you, girl. I felt the same way, and my marriage had already disintegrated when I decided to transition (or at least try to). My boys were 13 and 9 when I came out and I was very worried about what impact it would have on them. My older son was very taken aback and has distanced himself for the most part. My younger son has been remarkably resilient and we have a good relationship now, pretty much what my therapist predicted.

I wish you much love and good wishes.

With kindness,

Terri
 

Samantha G.

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For me a little of the pink fog lasts a long time. On average I dress about twice a month and I go all out head to toe. I really enjoy my girl time but it's also a lot of work transforming from Goober McNerdly into
Samantha. I do find it very hard at the end of the day to revert back to male mode though.
 

OzGirl

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For me a little of the pink fog lasts a long time. On average I dress about twice a month and I go all out head to toe. I really enjoy my girl time but it's also a lot of work transforming from Goober McNerdly into
Samantha. I do find it very hard at the end of the day to revert back to male mode though.

Samantha, I had sporadic access to dressing all my life, and I found it to be a great stress relief from dysphoria. About 20 years ago, my wife agreed I could be myself at home, and that was bliss, but it progressively became harder and harder to go back to presenting as my male self. I grew my hair out and shaped my nails, and shared interests with my female work colleagues, until they voted me an 'honorary' woman. I mostly felt like a woman, and I was happy with my life. But my dysphoria grew so bad I had to transition.

Do you feel you suffer with dysphoria?

Hugs,

Allie
 

Samantha G.

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Hi Allie, I don't think I've suffered dysphoria. I never felt like I was born the wrong gender but I'd say from around age 10 I was more interested in most things that go with female expression. Of course I was really too young to do much about it then. The first time I was able to fully dress head to toe was around age 27 and despite the horrible attempts at makeup or clothing choices I really liked expressing that side of myself.
The pink fog really hit me like a bus in 2014. My apartment has a his & hers closet layout which is now more like a hers & hers closet. All the dresses are neatly on hangers and the male clothes are draped over the back of a chair LOL. That being said I'm still in male mode 98% of the time. I do keep my toenails polished because it's easy to hide and it keeps the girl side in me happy. Besides plain toenails are just ugly !!
I've just been able to find a balance between the male & female, I guess I'm lucky in that respect.
Hugs,
Samantha
 

Katie

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Although I am on HRT and my face and body have changed substantially, I spend almost all of my time in "guy mode". Between my wife being vigorously opposed to seeing me present as female and not being out into professional world, I rarely get the opportunity to present as female.
20200709_102928.jpg

This was me today right before officiating a funeral today. That's as male as I can look now.
 
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Linde

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I don't think I've suffered dysphoria. I never felt like I was born the wrong gender but I'd say from around age 10 I was more interested in most things that go with female expression.
Samatha, I never had anything comparable to dysphoria either, and I also did not feel that i was born the wrong gender! I didn't even try to cross dress, the first time that I wore female clothing was the day I tried it on in the store because I was going full time a few days later.
I am just different than most trans women, but I am a woman for 100%.
Just don't block your own ideas about being a woman, you might be as different as I am. Just live your life and do what feels good and right for you, one of these days you might want to be a woman for good.



Hugs
Linde
 

DebraM

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Earliest memories of me being a crossdresser was when I was 8 years old,fell in love with the feminine clothing and shoes.My dad whom isn't in my life anymore wanted me to grow up as a typical masculine male and felt I wasn't this.Knew I was happy as male with a strong feminine side to me.Mom believed in me and she has been supportive to this day including my 2 younger sisters
 

Monica

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Welcome Debra, glad to see you here.
 

Jenniferwill

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Hi Moni, Hi Kim!

I have stopped using the term "crossdresser" because it is a very difficult concept for the general public to digest. I live about 50% of my life as Jennifer and I love the dichotomy of that vs. my male counterpart. So am I crossdresser or am I trans? Well, I have come to accept that any crossdresser is on the trans or LGBTQ spectrum and certainly I am there. For reference, I am a 4 on Kim's trans scale:ROFLMAO: (inside joke).

In my experience, in interactions with the public, transwoman is far easier for people to accept.
 

Linde

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I agree with you Jennifer.
I kind of jokingly call myself the most convincing female to male crossdresser. In fact I was so in it, I fooled myself with it.

But the generell publi reLly sees crossdressee either of trying to be sneaky sexatics, or the lough about them. The movies give enough exsamples for this.
In reality, I never was acrossdresser, but Iam intersex and waz gendered wrong at birth.
Our member Kenna tels me, I am the only one here on the forum who is not transitioning to become a woman, but dtransitioning to be one again.
Anyway, I consider myself to be trans with whatever prefix.


Hugs
Linde
 

OzGirl

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Hi Moni, Hi Kim!

I have stopped using the term "crossdresser" because it is a very difficult concept for the general public to digest. I live about 50% of my life as Jennifer and I love the dichotomy of that vs. my male counterpart. So am I crossdresser or am I trans? Well, I have come to accept that any crossdresser is on the trans or LGBTQ spectrum and certainly I am there. For reference, I am a 4 on Kim's trans scale:ROFLMAO: (inside joke).

In my experience, in interactions with the public, transwoman is far easier for people to accept.

Ahh, many of us know and have been assessed on the Kimsey Scale, so not as inside as you think!! We debate this on the Zoom sessions, @Jenniferwill you are so invited to come keep Kim under control!!

Hugs,

Allie
 
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