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OzGirl

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Thank you Marie! While this remains an Adult site we can keep the moderation under wraps unless somebody disrespect another. I might make suggestion if I see things going in a bad direction, but I am really happy with the quality of people this site attracts. We did have some bad apples, and probably gave them too many chances, but we've learned from that experience!

Hugs,

Allie
 

KimOct

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@Marie62 we try to steer away from too much talk about Susan's for a variety of reasons but if nothing else to take the high road.
I mentioned the ridiculous level of moderation in a moment of frustration. Regarding the member that I have been vaguely mentioning there is a group of about 8 to 10 of us that corresponded with her frequently in the past. I offered her some suggestions and posed questions much as I do with @NicoleT.

Nicole certainly does not agree with everything I say but she does at least consider it and often agrees. The SP member in question has been frozen in place for a long time but writes quite eloquently about the pain of being transgender. I have been frustrated with her but for some insane reason I keep engaged. Most people here have moved on. I will try to keep further mentions to a minimum.

Regarding the moderators and members here I think both groups are excellent. I have been a regular member on 4 sites and this is by far the best one. Once again thank you to @Katie @OzGirl @TonyaJanelle @Lexxi @Linde for their wonderful efforts.

I like it that we can speak like adults - occasional but not excessive profanity and also sexual issues or anatomical ones. But currently everyone keeps themselves in line and does not abuse the privilege. Let's hope it stays that way as the number of members increases.
 

NicoleT

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Honestly why are swearwords so offensive anyway. I mean if you come from a different language altogether some of those words don’t even have the same meaning or any meaning at all. I mean who is the one who stood up and said .........no that’s a bad word we can’t use it.

Obviously I’m not talking about racial slurs and such I’m talking about the original seven dirty words that George Carlin talks about. It seems with the world on fire, protests everywhere, a pandemic going on, it was the least of everyone’s worries. I find it hysterical Kim that they actually moderated out the word crap 💩. Truth be told only one word is really a dirty word and it’s always been a great one. You can use it as a verb, a noun, an adjective, ect....Ironically in French it means a seal.

Well no reason to swear at the moment......I’ve got too much else on my mind.
 

Lexxi

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When he told Klara, his 11 year old and was using "kiddie correct language" she said "Daddy, could you please stop it, of course I know what a TransGender is, do you think I am a baby?" - We then met two days later and there was not a second of insecurity in either of the two, but they had big buckets full of questions with them ... Kids do surprise you - every day!

I don't know why Marie but that little paragraph really made my eyes sting. Kids definitely surprise you. Kids are also learning more and more acceptance in their homes, their schools, and other places they congregate. That's just awesome! Congrats on your introduction!!
 

KimOct

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@NicoleT I disagree on the worst swear word. I do not want to turn this into a contest of swear words and devolve the conversation but I think this is an important point for women.

The 'F' word is not the worst word IMO. Rather the word with the third letter in the alphabet (as vague as I can make it ) is the worst word because it is so demeaning toward women. I have used it less than 10 times in 60 years when I wanted to go 'nuclear' because in my opinion it is the Nuclear Bomb of swear words and extremely offensive. Obviously the 'N' word is extremely offensive but I consider that a racial slur vs swear word although I guess it is both.
 

NicoleT

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See you next Tuesday .....(broken down and said..lol) ...I get it. My wives most hated word. I never use it. Almost forgot about it. The word I was talking about is just my favorite of the dirty words, because it’s so useful, never goes out of style and always causes a reaction. Now that famous word ..I have used. Just not as much anymore...lol

I keep going we could call this thread the “wash out your mouth with soap Box”....😂😂😂

Anyway we now return to our regular scheduled programming and Trans Jedi Master
”Qui Gon Kim” (but to me she will always be “Trans Yoda” )

Hugs
 

KimOct

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@NicoleT Thank you my young apprentice. 🤣 I did not even know of the See you next Tuesday reference until a few months ago. A dealer said a player said it to her and I looked at her quizzically - 'what I don't get it'.

She explained it. BTW it is Cee you next Tuesday. "C' get it. I didn't until she explained it. I'm so stupid.

I should revise my usage estimate. It is probably closer to 5 times in my life. I am always shocked in the rare occasion that I am that angry. I can probably remember all the times I said it.

And yes most women find it extremely offensive.

Well this subject has found the gutter. 😁 I will think of something more useful in the next few days.
 

KimOct

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I was shopping yesterday and of course wearing a mask and it occurred to me that it would have been a little easier 4 years ago on my first few trips out in public if I was wearing a mask. Yeah it may sound a little silly but seriously while shopping yesterday it dawned on me that I am probably passing a little more than usual due to my hair and eye makeup being the only things showing.

@NicoleT was kidding a bit with me about her first times out in public with a mask and while it is worth a smile I thought for anyone reading this that has been nervous about going out in public presenting as female - well here's your chance to do it with a little 'cheating'. My first few times out I wouldn't have minded that. Just a suggestion.
 

Emma

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Ok everyone who only does eyes and brows only for Covid mask makeup raise your hand lol 🙋🏻‍♀️.

Oh hell, Who am I kidding covid has me so lazy with being home mostly that I haven’t even been doing that. Ugh! COVID! (Waves fist in the air).
 

TonyaJanelle

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everyone who only does eyes and brows only for Covid mask makeup raise your hand lol 🙋🏻‍♀️.
[/QUOTE

Skip the lipstick sometimes but otherwise I still do it all.
I see me.
 

Saturnguy99

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The Big Bang one is from 3 years ago. Many many are the last 10 years. Probably starting to fade but they have been around since before Milton Berle. It is going to take decades for the lessons learned to fade.
Can I say something? I got on here to discuss with other Transgenders about me wanting to get out of my body. If and when I decide, I will have to face my family, Friends and coworkers and worry that everybody will hate me. I realized many years ago, I was in the wrong body, but never did anything. I just had my second divorce and went through my life, and am realizing I do not want to be a man anymore, I have had fears of being ridiculed. I had 2 wives that I cooked and cleaned for and they yelled at me for something stupid. I don't want to have to do this but am willing to to be who I want to be.
 

Linde

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Ok everyone who only does eyes and brows only for Covid mask makeup raise your hand lol 🙋🏻‍♀️.

Oh hell, Who am I kidding covid has me so lazy with being home mostly that I haven’t even been doing that. Ugh! COVID! (Waves fist in the air).
I currently don't do anything except sun protection for the xposed skin, and moisturizer, of course. My eyes are done permanently, and my biggest job now is to keep my hair under control!

Hugs
Linde
 
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Monica

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Can I say something? I got on here to discuss with other Transgenders about me wanting to get out of my body. If and when I decide, I will have to face my family, Friends and coworkers and worry that everybody will hate me. I realized many years ago, I was in the wrong body, but never did anything. I just had my second divorce and went through my life, and am realizing I do not want to be a man anymore, I have had fears of being ridiculed. I had 2 wives that I cooked and cleaned for and they yelled at me for something stupid. I don't want to have to do this but am willing to to be who I want to be.
I would suggest to you that these are separate issues, @Saturnguy99 . Relationships are one thing, your identity is another. You have to figure out your identity separately, not based on how ex's have treated you. It is very normal to be in your spot and be very afraid. The biggest things you can do for yourself is to gather information to help figure yourself out. Talking to us is a wonderful step, very positive! A gender therapist is very good. Also, at some point, getting actual experience with your desired gender role. Don't worry everyone who has thought about transition is convinced people will turn on them and everyone is afraid of ridicule. I suggest taking positive steps to figure yourself out. Running from these feelings never works. Seek your answer. It may be similar or different from the other trans people here. Talk through what you are going through. We will give you feedback. Hugs!
 

KimOct

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Yeah what @Moni said. @Saturnguy99 I was scared, I was afraid of being laughed at. Most of us were. The question to ask yourself is why? My answer to that question is because we were taught to feel that way. And what we were taught is wrong. How is it wrong to be who you really are?

And pretty much everyone here will tell you that people react better than you think they will. But it is hard to find the courage to get there. Talk to us and we will help. And as Moni said a therapist is great too. Not because there is anything wrong with you. A therapist that works with transgender people helps them deal with all of the fear and issues that they have to face. They do not try to treat being transgender because that is not the problem. The way we have been taught to feel about it is the problem.

@Emma yeah makeup is a bit streamlined in the days of masks. :LOL: Silver lining. :rolleyes::LOL:
 

TonyaJanelle

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They do not try to treat being transgender because that is not the problem. The way we have been taught to feel about it is the problem
Right on, sister.
 

Saturnguy99

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My problem is that I am worried about cost and have no health insurance. I don't have that much to get it done? How much did it cost for everything from Male to Female? I hear there are ways to get it done, but want to see about everything before I move on. Since I started posting on here, I learned alot and feel more confident that if everything goes in, I would feel more comfortable. Thank you.
 

Linde

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You can start with little steps, and we can find out what we can ge cheap, and e do this. I is had to do a certain cost to transition. I have pretty good health insurance, but I still have to make some copayments. So far, I paid a few thousand dollars, including clothing and copayments.

But that was over several years.

Hugs
Linde
 

Randi

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Yeah what @Moni said. @Saturnguy99 I was scared, I was afraid of being laughed at. Most of us were. The question to ask yourself is why? My answer to that question is because we were taught to feel that way. And what we were taught is wrong. How is it wrong to be who you really are?

And pretty much everyone here will tell you that people react better than you think they will. But it is hard to find the courage to get there. Talk to us and we will help. And as Moni said a therapist is great too. Not because there is anything wrong with you. A therapist that works with transgender people helps them deal with all of the fear and issues that they have to face. They do not try to treat being transgender because that is not the problem. The way we have been taught to feel about it is the problem.

@Emma yeah makeup is a bit streamlined in the days of masks. :LOL: Silver lining. :rolleyes::LOL:

Yea, what she said.
 

KimOct

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My problem is that I am worried about cost and have no health insurance. I don't have that much to get it done? How much did it cost for everything from Male to Female? I hear there are ways to get it done, but want to see about everything before I move on. Since I started posting on here, I learned alot and feel more confident that if everything goes in, I would feel more comfortable. Thank you.

Sorry I have been gone a few days. @Moni sent out the 'bat signal' for me. LOL I expected to spend 3 days at home during my days off but 3 different friends invited me to get together each day. They must not realize that I am the mean "B' that you all know I am. :LOL:

Anyhoo....... @Saturnguy99. You have the cart before the horse which is very very understandable. I did too.
Before I go any further I need to tell you....... I work on myself and try to help others with how we think about this and how we perceive things. The physical stuff is secondary. But when I was first coming out to me it was all about how do I look more female - how do I pay for face surgery, breasts, vaginoplasty? Believe me....I get it.

But the people that helped me early on helped me see it is really about getting your mind right and then MAYBE your body. Most people try to do it the other way around and I was going to also.

Yes there are lots of possible surgeries and I want(ed) many of them. I have only had an orchiectomy. I am on HRT also. I am legally female birth certificate, drivers license social security everything. I live and work as female 24 / 7. But the only surgery is the orchie.

I did not plan to do it this way but I learned a lot. It is not about how the world sees us. It is what we think of ourselves. Many people will support you. I promise and I don't say that lightly.

This probably does not fit with your pre-conceived ideas - it felt weird to me at first. This is the hard way to do it but IMO changing how you think is in the end a very good thing.

You can live as the woman you are tomorrow. I am not saying you should. You need to figure somethings out first but you don't need surgery to do it. Surgery is the icing on the cake and I encourage it. But how you think and live is even more important.

Keep talking to us. You will agree with some things and not others but we will help you think and then you can figure things out that work for YOU.
 
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