Post Op Depression

[OzGirl]

I'm nearly 2 weeks post GRS, and I am very aware of the reports of depression after major surgery, not just GRS. I am watching for signs so I can get on top of this quickly if it occurs, so I wondered if others might be able to point me to the symptoms they experienced, and the solutions. Remember, this is for all major surgeries, not just GRS!

Hugs,

Alie

 

[Linde]

Allie, that is the reason that the Mayo set ip a psychology appointment for me for 2 weeks after surgery.
I hope that you can escape the post op depression.


Hugs
Linde

 

[KathyLauren]

I don't think I experienced post-op depression. But I came home to the weird world of covid precautions, so everything was strange anyway. I think I have some depression now, over my less than satisfactory results, but I am not sure it qualifies as post-op depression.

I hope you are able to avoid it.

 

[OzGirl]

So far I have had post op Euphoria! But I know it can be a significant issue, so I tend to plan and have strategies in place beforehand. And I thought this thread could be of benefit to many!

@Kathy, I don't think your issue qualifies, and I'm guessing at this stage a revision will be necessary.

Hugs

 

[TonyaJanelle]

I think it can start when the euphoria begins to wane and recovery is at least going well if not assured . You looked forward to the surgery for so long, then its over and you get a now what feeling. Not sure how that plays with other surgeries. A sense of loss maybe, after intense focus on getting whatever it was surgically fixed? I did a have a bit of a let down month or so post op, not to the point of depression. That's happening now for reasons I've not been able to sort out.

 

[Linde]

I am currenly in a preop depression, asking myself if thos surgery is really what I want, is it tge right thing to do.
I am still determined to hop onto the table in 5 days from now, and I hope everything goes as well with me as it did with Allie and Tonya. I did a last minute switch from shallow to full, depth vagina, and hope that this will not cause any additional healing time.
I don't know, if my life will be any different post op from the life I luved since I had my orchi a while ago. The only difference would be that I am not looking forward to another surgery. That surgery is the absolute end for my active transition, and I might fully immerse myself into the cis female world for good.

Hugs
Linde

 

[pamelatransuk]

Thank you for the warning Allie.

Depression for me apart from trans related, comes from major events of which Covid-19 especially the new British Variant is the most disturbing. Secondly I have mild but manageable SAD from the constant darkness of December and January. Delighted always to get January out of the way.

Hugs

Pamela xx

 

[Monica]

Allie, I think Tonya hit this pretty well, but I'll give my take. Yes, post op depression can happen even after the euphoria. We get weary of recovering, our activities many times are restricted, and for those with a complication, we can add worry and discomfort. The best thing to do is be aware that it can happen and put it in perspective. First of all, it's not that life has always sucked and you just realized it. No, it probably has a lot to do with the conditions above. One shouldn't panic thinking, "Oh no, I'll feel this way the rest of my life." It's best to have a little mental discipline. Don't give into the sadness. Vary your routine if possible, don't sleep all the time. Talk about it with someone. The number one thing to do is to start formulating a plan for the next mountain (or even molehill) to climb. Time to set up a new goal, something with meaning to you, even if not gender related, no, especially if not transition related. You need something to plan for and work toward. It might be hard identifying something at first, but don't give up on finding something to look forward to. I have really enjoyed family reunions in the past. The horrible thing to me is saying goodbye to everyone. I found the best way to minimize that is immediately planning the next get together.

@Linde , it is normal to have a time of questioning before surgery even with the most thought out decisions to have a surgery. My theory is it's your brain trying to protect yourself from rash decisions. You have thought out your decision pretty well. I wouldn't worry. A good test is to up and tell yourself you are going to pick up that phone and cancel everything. See what your reaction to that is. Chances are you are gonna say, "Oh no, your not!" I respect anyone having limited depth. If it is right for them, great! I am very happy having full depth. I've never regretted doing it. Yes, I hate cleaning dilators. (Don't mind dilating, just cleaning up, ugh!) I have also, after being sparked by some posts by @Rachel, rediscovered my desire to move forward in the sexual area. Having full depth, allows me more of what my mind says should be going on. (I'm not even talking about with a partner.) Again, not knocking other's surgery decisions. My vagina, my volva, even my Volvo, (if I had one) isn't perfect. I'd tweak this or that, but it's mine and I'm happy with it. Well, this is another thread, but it is important to go into a surgery knowing one's vagina probably won't be like the famous brass bust of a vagina in the Rock and Roll Vagina Hall of Fame in Canton Ohio. ( @Karajo , you should visit that while you are working there!) It will probably look like something on the wall of vaginas though. Look it up, it's a real thing!

 

[Karajo]

I will for sure checking out!!


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[Linde]

@Moni, you are correct, there will be no way back for me, I will get this remodeling done.
As I said, I was going to get a limited depth deal, but I changed my mind during my preop visit, when the surgeon told me that I had plenty of tissue to do a conventional canal. Living currently with two women, who talk pretty openly abot the many nice things one can do with a vagina, supported that decission to go full depth.
This testosterone supplement I am taking, sure helps to get my libido going again.

Hugs
Linde

 

[Rachel]

Hi, Post Op I was home alone. It was quiet and there was time to think. Ok now what? How will I fit into the female hierarchy? How will guys treat me? When I go back to work I will go to group female bathrooms instead of single bathrooms. How will other woman respond to me in that space? GCS was three operations for me so the initial outcome was not finished. I also had part of my graph die, talk about pain. Granular contraction is something to avoid at all costs.

Depression, I had that all my life (not now, even with all the covid I am happy and doing fantastic) . Post OP I think I switched my depression energy into post op thoughts as mentioned above. I think I redirected my depression ideation.

I had my third operation and I had 1 orgasm and called it quits. I could not take T (mental issue). I have boxes of T but I can not take it. I need to work on that some day.

Fast forward. Sybian and I have depth and mapped my vagina to my brain. I have cliteral orgasms from the one toy and others but the one is my favorite. I use the xl attachments from motor bunny (two of them) one for depth and the other for depth and diameter. A girl needs to work up to a good stretch. Tracie's dog gives me G spot orgasms. You need to thrust it in and out and apply pressure to the G spot. OMG . ZumioX, lovely ultra intense vibration on my clit, nipples and labia. Just awesome. Bad Dragon and Hanky's Toys make awesome silicone dildos (in any color and glow in the dark)

I watch YouTube toy reviews. Lilly O'Riley and others. Girls on YouTube share info about the best of the best.

I love my vagina and I love to have clitoral and G spot orgasms. I love the full feeling and giving control to someone else, I like guys a lot.

I had apprehension before GCS. Not if I should have GCS but how it would turn out. Dr. McGinn examined me 13 times ( I was there a lot for genital and facial hair removal). She kept on saying she thought she could do it. She is a very confident woman so for her to have thoughts like that you know it was a challenge. She was awesome and really treated me well. I love the people there. I also thought at what price ( I do not mean money) have I caused on others. I tried and still do try to make there lives good. Plus when I wanted to return to work at end of week 4 my boss would not let me. I returned and did not tell anyone. I fill out my time electronically and my boss authorized it. I guess he did not look at it because I switched it from EDL time to regular time. At 8 or 9 or maybe 12 weeks Employee Health called my cell and asked if I was ready to return and how will they be able to accommodate me for dilating? I told them I was back and the date. They wanted a return to work slip and I walked over and gave it to them. HR called and wanted proof I was "female". I sent over my GCS document. I was not happy with how that went down. OK, I was really upset with HR. Does anyone provide proof of their gender at work no. So why me. I found out my boss wanted to see it.

My boss had put in my evaluation a goal about a seamless transition. He threatened to fire me if my transition caused work disruption in the 250 staff in the department. So, I focused on the threats and huge changes GCS meant in my life and others lives. Depression, yes, I was depressed. But not now . I really love my vagina, breasts and body.

 

[Linde]

Rachel, my life as a female was/is quite different from yours. Because of my biological condition, my body looks mainly female for all of my life. I do not have or had any body hair.
My transition into a female presentation was a rather slow one, and started after my body decided I should have boobs, not man boobs, because I was never fat enough to have those.
So, the boob and hair thing was a non issue for me, and because I was working as a medical consultant, made my working life to be a non issue for my transition.
I had the belief that an orchi only would be enough for me, because it established a female type hormone pattern. I was wrong pretty bad, and that is the reason that I now will be getting the rest of the female genitalia.
Because of the fact that I always had low testosterone, which went fully away after the orchi, my libido was mostly non existing, which was fine with me.
It looks like everything will change after this week, and I have no clue what my future sex life will be.
My life as a woman will not change much from the life I have for the last several years, following the orchi.
But I am still uncertain how my life will change not having any transition goal in front of me anymore. I had several years preparing first for my orchi, and after a while following the orchi, to prepare and get ready for SRS. All this will be done by the end of this week.

Hugs
Linde

 

[Rachel]

Congratulations on GCS.

 

[Melanierose]

I'm nearly 2 weeks post GRS, and I am very aware of the reports of depression after major surgery, not just GRS. I am watching for signs so I can get on top of this quickly if it occurs, so I wondered if others might be able to point me to the symptoms they experienced, and the solutions. Remember, this is for all major surgeries, not just GRS!

Hugs,

Alie

I didn’t get any depression at all so think positive

 

[OzGirl]

I didn’t get any depression at all so think positive

Thanks Melanie! I am really positive, just one of those people who likes to plan and be prepared! Plus, with a number of our members going through various surgeries now and soon, I thought it might be a useful thread!

Hugs,

Allie

 

[TonyaJanelle]

Thanks Melanie! I am really positive, just one of those people who likes to plan and be prepared! Plus, wit a number of our members going through various surgeries now and soon, I thought it might be a useful thread!

Hugs,

Allie

Thought of something for you Allie. You had fairly low expectations going in so maybe you will be less susceptible to the let down.

 

[Monica]

Allie, with a number of surgeries happening on TR these days, I decided to look back to my surgery blog on SP. I found this post about my attitude shortly after surgery.

"I can't speak for anyone but myself, but I will offer you a few of my thoughts. I hope if you or anyone else is afraid or nervous about the surgery, I would urge you too make room for the positive thoughts as well. If you are this far, my friend, your decision making is over. Be at peace with the choice, enjoy the experience. I know I had some hard times and I have a ways to go, but I would have (in my mind) been a fool not to appreciate that this was a transformative moment of my life. I look back on it fondly. The thoughts of pain leave very quickly. I am glad I focused, savored the moment. I am enjoying, as much as possible, things as they unfold. I don't even mind peeing all over myself while the plumbing figures itself out down there. One thing about doing this when you are older. You have done the male thing to death. Why would I not thoroughly enjoy this new world opening up before my eyes. Why lament the male things that I did over and over that I mostly grew to despise. The water is warm Hon, come on in."

Even if a little down time happens, be aware of the positives and don't neglect to notice them.

 

[OzGirl]

Thought of something for you Allie. You had fairly low expectations going in so maybe you will be less susceptible to the let down.

And Tonya, I had very little tissue visible down there, so there hasn’t been a huge loss either. I haven’t had one moment of second thoughts, so this is all still really good for me , but I am reading about post op depression in my post op instructions and other media, so it must be a thing! From the responses thus far, it doesn’t seem like it’s very prevalent!

Hugs,

Allie

 

[Linde]

I don't even mind peeing all over myself while the plumbing figures itself out down there. One thing about doing this when you are older. You have done the male thing to death. Why would I not thoroughly enjoy this new world opening up before my eyes. Why lament the male things that I did over and over that I mostly grew to despise. The water is warm Hon, come on in."

Even if a little down time happens, be aware of the positives and don't neglect to notice them.

While sitting on the toilet peeing (I never really had enough "member" to comfortably pee standing up) I kind of told the thing that it better enjoys what it is doing, because it will be done forever with in a very few days!
And i am actually looking forward to the dilating experience.

Hugs
Linde

 

[Kenna]

Well, it's 6 days since my FFS. I had 8 hours of surgery but I have to wait a couple of months for my rhinoplasty to complete the transformation, although I expect less obvious changes from that much more restricted surgery. The change in appearance is still pretty clear under the swelling and puffy eyes with a clear difference to my brow. I had a neck and face lift with some of the fat transferred to my cheeks, but everything is still tight and swollen so I'm not making any judgements there. Apart from the sutures I didn't really notice anything from my upper lip lift until day 4 or 5 when I first noticed the visual change along with a change in sensation soon after. The surgeon hadn't told me that I'd have ointment in my eyes after fixing my droopy eyelids and that would limit my vision, which upset some of my recovery distraction plans. I was fairly angry, but also nearly laughed when on discharge from hospital he gave me a printed page about recovery from eye-lid surgery that I couldn't read.

Since discharge after 2 nights in hospital I've been pretty much on my own apart from my neighbour, who is a nurse, spending some time with me on the first evening at home, giving great advice about ice packs and reading the instructions for me. I've been given a couple of meals and some home grown roses. My kids have all called from interstate, my son daily. He had hoped to come and be with me but Covid rules prevented him coming.

I've been planning this surgery since quite early in my transition journey and seem to have isolated myself from any strong emotions. I suspect that once the sutures are out (hopefully tomorrow) and I start to feel less discomfort over the following days the emotions might start to creep back in as I gradually start resuming some more normal activities and getting out a bit. I've battled depression in the past which seems to mostly affect me with serious amotivation. I've some strategies for dealing with that but obviously hope that the reduced dysphoria will play a significant positive role.
Cheers,
-Kenna