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janedoe

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The message is shown in Google results. I got harrassed by people on some medias

Cannot delete myself
 
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Linde

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But my question is, did you experimented a kind of feeling that could let you believe your old friends got sexually attracted by you when you came out to them?
I don't know if it is sexual attraction, but some of my friends asked me that now that I have boobs (I have naturally grown 38 D), if I like to play with them a lot. It might be more a fetish driven sexual fantasy than any flirting?

But I am older than you, and all my friends are married for many years.

Hugs
LInde
 

Julie G

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Redraw you’re comfort zone. With close friends. Give them time to process. Stay in close touch, let them know that you value their sincere friendship, but crack off from any romantic or sexual relationships for a while.
 

Julie G

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Back off, not crack off
 

Julie G

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Redraw you’re comfort zone. With close friends. Give them time to process. Stay in close touch, let them know that you value their sincere friendship, but crack off from any romantic or sexual relationships for a while.
If they are true friends, they need time to process this, as well.
 

Katie

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Yes, this is not terribly unusual. I had my very best childhood friend turn super weird when I came out to him. He was one of the first that I presented as female to and told me I was hot and he was turned on by me. It was super awkward and kind of scary. I also had another friend tell me that I was "way hotter as a woman" and that he would date me if I were single. That one wasn't as creepy, but there were serious arousal vibes coming from him.

I have had almost every person I came out to question my sexual orientation. They were all like, "I never would have guessed you were gay!". Even my own mother questioned me about my sexual orientation. She had a really hard time getting it through her head that I am a woman but not attracted to men. Woman and not attracted to men just didn't compute with her.

But, given what I had already known of male behavior, I am not shocked. I have seen how men respond to women, and my experience seems not to be unusual for a woman. Men tend to want sex with nearly every woman they meet. I am reasonably attractive and it seems men just do what they normally do around me. This is the female experience that nearly every woman has to put up with.
 
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KathyLauren

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I didn't have a lot of friends before, but the ones I have come out to have all been accepting. Nothing sexual, nothing creepy, just acceptance and support. I wish I could share that good fortune with others.
 

Monica

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OMG. I just had a 3 hours videochat with the best friend I had before. I feel like shit. He accused me that I have stolen his best friend he is so disapointed. he finnished the conversation with, who I'm I to tell you what to do with your life, you are the one who decide about it. It sux your old you disapearing maybe I will like the new you, there is alot of people at my work in your situation, if you decided it, I guess you know what you do... I'm so paralized right now. I was sure he would be happy for me
Hi Jade, my name is Moni! Sorry, I haven't had a chance to greet you yet. I had a friend, in fact I was 'best man' at his wedding, but he was very much into an extreme binary way of looking at things. When I transitioned, he tried to be okay, but he mourned the male friendship we had. He was fond of calling me 'brother.' After a while, post-transition, he got more and more uncomfortable. Part of it was missing his 'guy' friend. He also would make comments about me being more feminine than his wife. I think he had a hard time seeing me in places like the pool. He was, I think, afraid he could be attracted to me. So all that killed the relationship. Your friend might have similar feelings. From your picture, you look very attractive, so finding guys attracted to you should be no surprise.
A word about sexuality and being trans. Like Sarah said, people assume a change in gender presentation means a change in sexual attraction. Usually they are not correct and shouldn't make that assumption. Sometimes, in a minority of trans people, they happen to have it correct. I am one of those people who has seen attraction change with my transition. It is a complicated thing, but only for some of us. Anyway, welcome, and a good thread you started here!(y)
 

Monica

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It's pretty weird that it seems for them a bigger concern than my transition....
Jade, this surprised me too. Great support for being trans with everyone, but many said things indicating that if my sexual orientation changed, that would be a problem. So I'm 100% out as trans, 3% out as straight. Weird world! Sorry, your friends are asking the misguided questions. There is a certain role of educator we take on being trans if we want to have people understand.
 

Linde

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When I was asked if I play with my boobs all the time now, I was really surprised. I had not seen them for quite a while and they had not seen my development into a woman. I think in their eyes I was still a man, but just a man with boobs wearing female clothing, and men like to play with boobs, even if they are his own?
I asked in return, if they play with their toes or fingers, because they are there, following up to explain that the boobs are just there like the toes and fingers, and nothing a woman plays with the entire time.

Hugs
Linde
 

Katie

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Also, every of my old friend I came out to, are asking as first question: "So it means your sexual orientation as changed". It's pretty weird that it seems for them a bigger concern than my transition....
Same thing I have experienced. Everything is a matter of sex or sexual orientation with a lot of cisgender people. Gender and sexual orientation are the same thing to them.
 

Confused

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Cisgender people experience no difference between their gender and their sex from birth. They automatically think it is the same for everybody. It is very hard for them to understand how your orientation does not switch with transition or if you need to transition. From their perspective it makes no sense. I ran into this with my own wife. It caused her to question everything from our very first date. As Moni stated, we have to be educators, but also realize it takes some time for most of them to process it. Some are unable to.

Hugs,
Mike
 
En Femme 728 x 90
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