OzGirl's Journey

[OzGirl]

Hi Allie. Just catching up on your thread. So sorry to hear of your weekend. That was horrible and callous behavior by people who should know better. I agree with Tallulah that you should be thinking about moving out as soon as you can. I can appreciate how terribly hard it is, but you really deserve better. Much love to you Allie.

Thanks Randi, but she will be moving out in some months, and if I can, I will keep my house. With so much changing in my life lately, I need something which is constant to hang on to. As crappy as this last weekend was, I feel I am moving from one nightmare to another, just hoping there might be good times ahead. I just have to stop myself pining for happy days past.

Hugs,

Allie

 

[Randi]

Yes, look forward not back. Not much good can come of that. You are going through something horrible but this too shall pass. Ping me anytime you need an ear.

 

[OzGirl]

It's amazing what just a little good news can do! the beginning of last week was pretty ordinary with Mary starting to sell things in our house she doesn't want to take with her. Not good news on the affordability front either, with house prices rising sharply, and we are starting to get some idea of the expenses involved. It was just one gut punch after another, and I admit, I crumpled. I pretty much laid down and cried for 3 days.

Thursday I made myself get cleaned up and went to visit my colleagues at work, as I am still off on medical leave. It was so good to get hugs, sympathy and support! I went home to get ready for a Skype session with my surgeon,and he was really happy with the photos I sent through, saying my recovery was ahead of schedule, and most of my restrictions could be lifted. I could drop one salt bath per day and just have one, and I was good to go back to work in the second week of March.

The best part was the realisation that I was OK to visit my grandchildren! Friday morning I was on the highway to see my 2 month old grandson, and of course, his parents! He has grown in the 2 months since I saw him last! Then I drove to see my daughter and her 3 boys. They were very happy to see me and there ware squabbles over who could sit on my knee while I read books to them. I had hours of giggles and cuddles and returned home quite happy.

I have been better placed to deal with real estate agents and our accountant, and though I still am not sure I can keep my house, I am a little more positive about it. I realised my falling apart is also due to unresolved issues I have with being trans, and when other stressors arise, my unresolved issues surface and overwhelm me. I have tried to resolve these issues with the help of 3 counsellors, to no avail, and I just don't have confidence in them to waste more money. So, a little positive news made a big difference, even though the nightmare is still real, and I know I will need to deal with it again very soon.

Hugs,

Allie

 

[Donica]

That's our kids superpower. They have the ability to bring us out of the darkest depths, and then turn around and drain us of every bit of last remaining energy we have lol. You'll get through this Allie.

Superpower hugs!

 

[Kenna]

Hi Allie, It's good to hear that you are coping better! However it's sad that none of your counselors have been very effective in helping you.

For a long time I was very skeptical of self-help books but one that I've found very good and I've recommended to many people is "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris. It's in most Australian bookshops or online anywhere. It was written in Melbourne but is selling world-wide. It's based on a counseling theory called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (generally just called ACT), which can really build resilience. If you ever feel game to try a counselor again Russ Harris has a list of Australian therapists he's trained, which might focus your selection.
Hugs,
-Kenna

 

[OzGirl]

Hi Allie, It's good to hear that you are coping better! However it's sad that none of your counselors have been very effective in helping you.

For a long time I was very skeptical of self-help books but one that I've found very good and I've recommended to many people is "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris. It's in most Australian bookshops or online anywhere. It was written in Melbourne but is selling world-wide. It's based on a counseling theory called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (generally just called ACT), which can really build resilience. If you ever feel game to try a counselor again Russ Harris has a list of Australian therapists he's trained, which might focus your selection.
Hugs,
-Kenna

Thanks Kenna, it may be more about when I can afford to potentially waste money on therapists who want comfort me rather than provide life solutions! Meanwhile, my day with my grandkids has left me with a warm feeling and a sore throat. Hopefully I will get my Covid results tomorrow.....

Hugs,

Allie

 

[NicoleT]

It makes me smile every time I see that you have been able to see your grandkids. You need to have your doctor write you a prescription for that. Seems to work better than any anti-depressants any of these quacks could right. Try to focus on the present and not the future. Just one step at a time, get yourself through things, you have a lot of positive stuff to overcome in life I know it. I’m so happy you feel a little more positive at the moment.

Now.... go wrestle a shark or something. You know, do something that’s relaxing for you. Lol...

Hugs
Nicole