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Nicole’s neurotic Notebook

OzGirl

Well-known member
Staff member
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
991
Nicole, what my kids call me is still an issue for us. My daughter mourned the loss of her Dad, and doesn't want to let go of calling me Dad yet. My son, is flexible, he's happy to change ol' man to ol' lady! My daughter also won't support me as I try to get my grand sons to call me Gran instead of Poppy. I asked her how she is going feel at a school recital when her kids call me poppy in front of all the other parents, but she doesn't want to think about it yet. It will come in time, and my daughter will find what she is comfortable with, but maybe only after some uncomfortable moments!

Hugs,

Allie
 

TonyaJanelle

Two more days
Joined
Dec 23, 2019
Messages
870
My kids still call me dad. I'd prefer if they could call me Tonya in public just to not draw attention. Grandson still says grandpa, which I'll take as short for grandparent for now. I introduce myself as his grandparent when it comes up.
He has called me grandma a few times, but not on purpose.
 

Lexxi

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
536
Hi Nicole,

When I first saw your new avatar pic the very first thing that came to mind was how happy you look. I mean your happiness is just blooming throughout your face. I think I'd keep that picture for a while if it were me. I'm so glad that I was there when you dropped into that Zoom meeting. You're just exuding confidence and happiness. I'm really jealous but in a good way.

I think it's amazing that you've gone so far beyond where I'm at now, even though I started a year ago. I guess I'm just not as brave as you. It probably has something to do with that Texas strength they put put in the water down there or something. Whatever it is it looks good on you.

Lexxi
 

Kenna

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2020
Messages
320
My kids still call me Dad, but they're all interstate and haven't been out with me as a woman as yet, so we haven't actively addressed that issue as yet.

My older daughter is getting her young kids to call me Grandy, which works well for me and her circle of friends seems pretty progressive, which should help acceptance,

My younger daughter lives in a rural, and by Australian standards, extremely red-neck town, and she works in a male dominated industry. There's lots of anti-gay and anti-trans banter in many situations and she's even worried about the impact on her should people ever learn that her Dad is transgender, let alone the abuse that she believes I'd suffer should I ever visit. I'm hoping that after FFS I might be able to blend reasonably well and that should I visit, she might introduce me as being like a step-mother, and use my newer name.

My son lives in Sydney's Eastern suburbs and it shouldn't be a problem to work things out there.

-Kenna
 

OzGirl

Well-known member
Staff member
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
991
My younger daughter lives in a rural, and by Australian standards, extremely red-neck town, and she works in a male dominated industry. There's lots of anti-gay and anti-trans banter in many situations and she's even worried about the impact on her should people ever learn that her Dad is transgender, let alone the abuse that she believes I'd suffer should I ever visit.

-Kenna
Mary had some real red neck friends, and we anticipated trouble from them, but when she explained to them what happened, they amazingly gave support. I think rednecks here act that way for the perceived acceptance of each other and if you can get to them individually and explain the way it is, they come around. If your situation looks to inevitably come out to your daughters colleagues, maybe it's better that she talks to them individually before it becomes an issue.

Hugs,

Allie
 

Kenna

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2020
Messages
320
I think rednecks here act that way for the perceived acceptance of each other and if you can get to them individually and explain the way it is, they come around.
Allie, I agree that it's probably not as bad as she makes out, but its important to work with her perceptions as well. While at one level she denies it, I suspect that she suffers from a fair bit of sexism at work and she struggles to see why anyone would want to become a woman. I suspect that she thinks that once I experience living as a woman full time I'll abandon transitioning, hence she is very uncomfortable with any obviously feminising body modifications, which I've avoided so far. While the fundamentals of our relationship are strong, she's struggling at the moment.
Hugs,
-Kenna
 

Moni

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
831
I think it's amazing that you've gone so far beyond where I'm at now, even though I started a year ago. I guess I'm just not as brave as you. It probably has something to do with that Texas strength they put put in the water down there or something. Whatever it is it looks good on you.
Now hold up just a dog gone minute here! I know there is some kidding in this statement, BUT, we all do things our own way on our own time table. Do not be putting my friend @Lexxi down in any regard. Got it? If it is a gentle push you are looking for, Kim and I are happy to oblige. Oh, I'm so impressed with how forceful I am here. Sex-xy! LOL
 

Donica

Just moving forward!
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
466
Oh my! Someone just got told! Nobody messes with our Lexxi. Moni you vixen. Wait! Was that the right word? I think I'm the vixen?

My daughter is pretty good avoiding calling me Dad, instead, calling me she or her in public, but she hasn't called me Donica yet. Most of our conversations go with names and pronouns. My son on the other hand....... Well we have yet to be together in public but he says he will insist on calling me Dad, which is fine with me, but I think we will just order in and stay home for dinner? IDK.... Its a tough one. I certainly don't want either one of us to catch any flack over this.
 

Moni

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
831
I offered the whole 'Dad" thing and they can if they want. It got to be weird though. Now they call me Moni which in English means idiot at a typewriter.
 

KimOct

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2020
Messages
279
My kids still call me dad. I'd prefer if they could call me Tonya in public just to not draw attention. Grandson still says grandpa, which I'll take as short for grandparent for now. I introduce myself as his grandparent when it comes up.
He has called me grandma a few times, but not on purpose.
The way I work it with my daughter is on the phone, in the car, at home I am Dad. I did not give birth to her. Even though I identify as a woman I am still Dad. BUT in public if she needs to use my name I ask her to call me Kim which she is very good about. Not that I am trying to fly under the radar but with the way I look or more accurately 'present myself' the use of DAD would just seem odd.

That's just me. Everyone has a different approach that is right for them.
 

NicoleT

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
339
Well this is pretty awesome I jump on the thread and find everybody and their dog has stopped by. Just getting home trying to take off the Lie Mode gear.... order my meal and so on, then I guess I have to sit down and get into a zoom meeting tonight .......I’m excited. Ok reply time.

Nicole, what my kids call me is still an issue for us. My daughter mourned the loss of her Dad, and doesn't want to let go of calling me Dad yet. My son, is flexible, he's happy to change ol' man to ol' lady! My daughter also won't support me as I try to get my grand sons to call me Gran instead of Poppy. I asked her how she is going feel at a school recital when her kids call me poppy in front of all the other parents, but she doesn't want to think about it yet. It will come in time, and my daughter will find what she is comfortable with, but maybe only after some uncomfortable moments!

Hugs,

Allie
Allie .....I really hope your daughter can find that happy medium to give you respect but also be comfortable with who you are. Gran is cute ( although not appropriate Poppy is adorable) I just hope your grandkids being around you for a long period of time will grow up to have that respect for you that you deserve.

Hugs

My kids still call me dad. I'd prefer if they could call me Tonya in public just to not draw attention. Grandson still says grandpa, which I'll take as short for grandparent for now. I introduce myself as his grandparent when it comes up.
He has called me grandma a few times, but not on purpose.
Tonya....the Grandma must have felt pretty good even if by mistake. But yes the dad in public is very hard to deal with right....
Hugs

Hi Nicole,

When I first saw your new avatar pic the very first thing that came to mind was how happy you look. I mean your happiness is just blooming throughout your face. I think I'd keep that picture for a while if it were me. I'm so glad that I was there when you dropped into that Zoom meeting. You're just exuding confidence and happiness. I'm really jealous but in a good way.

I think it's amazing that you've gone so far beyond where I'm at now, even though I started a year ago. I guess I'm just not as brave as you. It probably has something to do with that Texas strength they put put in the water down there or something. Whatever it is it looks good on you.

Lexxi
Lexxi..... You are so sweet thank you so much for saying that. I’m glad that things have actually made me this happy. I actually felt sort of bad dropping in on your zoom meeting like that I felt like I was kind a photo bombing it. Sure you guys are having a good discussion that I just flat ruined. Oh well I was very excited to see you all there and get to talk to the gang.

As for you..... You can do this to you just gotta get brave enough to do it. Start working on your make up skills working on the draft aware play it out in your mind also see if you can go out with another female to go shopping so you’re not so conspicuously alone. Whatever it takes for you to build up the courage so I wanna see you succeed. I want to see you just as happy as me in the picture. By the way your new avatar is quite cute also.
as for the Texas water I doubt it gives strength........ Truth is I have a water cooler so I never drink it....Lol....
Looking forward to seeing you on Zoom.

Hugs

My kids still call me Dad, but they're all interstate and haven't been out with me as a woman as yet, so we haven't actively addressed that issue as yet.

My older daughter is getting her young kids to call me Grandy, which works well for me and her circle of friends seems pretty progressive, which should help acceptance,

My younger daughter lives in a rural, and by Australian standards, extremely red-neck town, and she works in a male dominated industry. There's lots of anti-gay and anti-trans banter in many situations and she's even worried about the impact on her should people ever learn that her Dad is transgender, let alone the abuse that she believes I'd suffer should I ever visit. I'm hoping that after FFS I might be able to blend reasonably well and that should I visit, she might introduce me as being like a step-mother, and use my newer name.

My son lives in Sydney's Eastern suburbs and it shouldn't be a problem to work things out there.

-Kenna
Kenna.......I love Grandy...great name. And who knew there were so many rednecks in Australia. And Lord knows they breed them here in Texas. In fact most of the rodeos a hold here they actually make you show your neck for walking in. Luckily mine has not gotten Red enough yet. ( maybe with some blush....lol...) And that’s why I don’t go to the rodeos or anything else that has to do with being really tough and wrestling cows. Honestly who wants to wrestle a cow, if you look them in the eyes they’re so sweet. Anyway I digress. Hopefully you’ll be able to figure out something with your daughter and they can come to acceptance. I wish you plenty of luck on your FFS. I’m excited to see the results.

Hugs

You so wonderful and beautiful girl
Christina......that is a wonderful thing to say. Just remember beautiful starts in the inside. Which is exactly what you are to write something so nice. As for being wonderful I’m not so sure I fit that category. But hey I’ll take it.
thank you for stopping by my thread.

Hugs

My daughter is pretty good avoiding calling me Dad, instead, calling me she or her in public, but she hasn't called me Donica yet. Most of our conversations go with names and pronouns. My son on the other hand....... Well we have yet to be together in public but he says he will insist on calling me Dad, which is fine with me, but I think we will just order in and stay home for dinner? IDK.... Its a tough one. I certainly don't want either one of us to catch any flack over this.
Donica..... You see that’s the tough part we care so much about our kids but we also want respect for being who we truly are. Weirdly enough them calling us dad in public make it just as awkward for them as it does for us. It’s been a heck of a quandary. I’m just glad that my kids are embracing the conversation so far. We will see where it takes us.

Hugs

I offered the whole 'Dad" thing and they can if they want. It got to be weird though. Now they call me Moni which in English means idiot at a typewriter.
Moni......... I knew you come up with something to make me laugh. Yeah I would have them call me Nicole but it just seems so informal to them. It’s like they lose the personalization of me being their parent. My daughter has been extremely good about this she her thing and really likes the idea of Mere. My son being a wise ass said he’ll just start calling me the old bitch. Weirdly I actually don’t mind that ......seems better than the alternative of being a man.

Hugs

The way I work it with my daughter is on the phone, in the car, at home I am Dad. I did not give birth to her. Even though I identify as a woman I am still Dad. BUT in public if she needs to use my name I ask her to call me Kim which she is very good about. Not that I am trying to fly under the radar but with the way I look or more accurately 'present myself' the use of DAD would just seem odd.

That's just me. Everyone has a different approach that is right for them.
Kim...... That’s exactly what I’m trying to do with my kids honestly. If at home on the phone and call me dad all they want. They change it up and feel better starting to call me Mere ....I can do that too. Who knew of all the things I’d have to figure out to become a woman....🤔......Hmmmm.... let me see there’s hair .....there’s make up .......thears undergarments .......there’s hormones .......there’s a dress ....skirts, maybe a blouse.....possible surgery......some shoes .........a purse .......there’s jewelry .....and yes of course ....what the heck are my kids going to call me...... 🤪😂😂.....

Hugs

Thanks Everyone for stopping by look forward to seeing you at our Zoom Party ( Friday Family Friends and Fun)

Nicole
 

OzGirl

Well-known member
Staff member
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
991
I hope you don't mind Nicole, but I used you as an example of how something good can come after despair. I have a friend with many challenges, so she can't hold a job and is on welfare, and her need for GCS has her at the point she doesn't want to go on. I am trying to get her on a list for assistance, but we will still probably need to do some fundraising to get her through, and it will be a long process, so she needed an example of someone who has found the light from the darkness. I told her your story, and gave her a hint of a way forward, and she seems to be stable now. Nearly all surgeries here are carried out in private hospitals and are expensive if you don't have insurance. There is a chance we can get her done in the public system, but by a surgeon with little experience, and the wait may be years. But for now, she just needed to know things can get better.

Hugs,

Allie
 

NicoleT

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
339
You are awesome, I love its topics. Thank you for your kindness to me @NicoleT
Thank you Christina.....everyone deserves kindness and respect ... Imagine if everyone could do that how much better the world would be.

Hugs

I hope you don't mind Nicole, but I used you as an example of how something good can come after despair. I have a friend with many challenges, so she can't hold a job and is on welfare, and her need for GCS has her at the point she doesn't want to go on. I am trying to get her on a list for assistance, but we will still probably need to do some fundraising to get her through, and it will be a long process, so she needed an example of someone who has found the light from the darkness. I told her your story, and gave her a hint of a way forward, and she seems to be stable now. Nearly all surgeries here are carried out in private hospitals and are expensive if you don't have insurance. There is a chance we can get her done in the public system, but by a surgeon with little experience, and the wait may be years. But for now, she just needed to know things can get better.

Hugs,

Allie
Allie...... I am honored if my story could actually help somebody who is so far down in despair. When you’re down that rabbit hole it’s extremely hard to see the light. It really takes a lot of support from a lot of people to keep you going. Then you have to basically say I’m as low as I’ve ever been I might as well go up from here. Either I can quit now and walk away or I can try to make something better of my life. When there’s nothing left to lose.........
I still have bad days, just turning your mind around and restarting is the key.

I really hope she can find the funding to at least get started down the right path. Sounds like she might have a long road ahead what changing her perspective on life is the key. Like they say any famous movie Shawshank redemption( you haven’t seen it yet by the way please do great movie) “ hope is a good thing”

As always Ali your kindness and willingness to help others is inspiring.

Big Hugs
Nicole
 

Christina

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
284
Yes, the world will be a beautiful rainbow, a joy with you so much. I want to share everything in my life @NicoleT
 

NicoleT

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
339
I’m such a sucker I’m sitting there today cast station looked over and saw this and said I just have to have it for my key ring.
04276986-FCAB-4AB5-A559-52E929806004.jpeg
it’s goofy but I just needed it...( my god the shopping disease of women is real...and I have it...)
Anyone else need a key ring I can get you?....Lol
 

Donica

Just moving forward!
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
466
I could use a key ring like that Nicole, but I think it would be difficult to fine one in my name. Although there are other people named Donica, there are more people named Danica.
 

Linde

Ready to sleep after a hard day
Staff member
Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
2,468
How do you fit those large things into your purse, if you don't want to bring a suitcase like purse with you?
I like the little purses that barely hold my wallet, cell phone, and a normal little set of keys.



Hugs
Linde
 

NicoleT

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
339
Lol...Linde it’s not that big.....it’s just cute.

Donica.....your right hard name to find. It does make you unique though. I’ll look to see if I can find something like that.

🤗
 
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