This may confuse some, but it shouldn't confuse you Linde. I looked into these before I knew I was transgender, but was looking at having GCS.
It is amazing I was able to hide from who I am for so long, because I researched GCS from almost every angle. Obviously my mind didn't want to understand why I was looking forward to getting such a surgery, yet I thought about it every day for months on end. I guess I am dense, but I had years of practice at it.
I still think the urination device will be good to have for certain circumstances, like the spraying stage I know may be coming. Obviously I am not alone in that. Also, I plan to present as a male, at least until such time as I may not be able to. That dictates which restroom I use much of the time in public, and what that entails.
Moni,
I am probably no closer to normal than you are. I managed to keep my thoughts boxed up much of the time for decades, but I did beat myself up sometimes. Like most people of our generation, I felt very alone for a long time.
Hugs,
Mike