matching voice to gender expression... specifically singing

[a Birdie on a Wire]

Hi everyone.

I was hoping to get some feedback on something that has me pretty nervous and anxious.

So very quickly some background context.
For about the past 15 yrs I’ve played with a few friends in a band where I am the singer. That’s not to say I’m very good at singing but I’m the singer. Although, I’ve been questioning my gender for about 7yrs or so, I’ve only ever expressed gender as a guy to my band and whenever we’ve gigged around. On a side note: I haven’t seen the guys since then virus lockdowns happened in March of 2020 and I’ve been on hormone therapy for seven months. Ooof. I wonder what they’ll think when they see me again.

Ok… so fast forward to today.
I recently joined a site that has a songwriting challenge and I am really excited about participating but also REALLY nervous about posting songs with my singing voice because I just don’t sing well with my girl voice. Heck, for that matter I don’t’ really sing well with my boy voice either. *rimshot*

Anyway, so on this site I posted a photo of myself where I look like….
well, I look like a girl... albeit a somewhat transy girl but the pics are small so I look pretty girl-ish. I am super nervous almost to the point of panic attack about posting a song where I sound like… I don’t know…

where I sound like Barry White.
Ok, sounding like Barry White would be pretty cool but you see my point.

So I’m kinda freaking out a little and not really sure what to do about posting songs
What do you think? Please, don’t hold back. Please be honest. I mean if you saw a profile pic of someone who looks like a girl (even a somewhat transy looking girl) and she sounded like Barry White what would you think? Ok, I don't sound like Barry White but my boy-voice is deeper than my speaking girl-voice.

Oh, and the site is not closed off to the public. Anyone can view the links.

 

[Monica]

This question is right up Stephanie Dykes's alley. Someone help with my brain fart as to her name on here. She sings in a male choral group. She'd be the one to talk to for experience.

 

[OzGirl]

@CarolinaPhD

 

[a Birdie on a Wire]

I don’t think I’m going to be able to fix my singing voice to sound more like a woman’s in two and a half weeks.

I guess I’m just wondering what would you think
if you came across a website where you saw a profile pic that looked like a woman and she was sharing songs she had recorded and...
what you heard in the audio recording, that she claimed was her singing, sounded distinctly like a male voice.

 

[RachelLynn]

I have actually been thinking a lot about this myself lately... I am also a vocalist, and also have a very obviously male singing voice, albeit with quite a bit of range. As I have been training my voice I've been singing as part of that, and I am currently working on some songs where I would use both voices to sing "duets" with myself. To answer your question; I think it would be the bees knees if I found a music profile of a female appearing artist with a male voice range. What site is your stuff on?

 

[a Birdie on a Wire]

Hi Rachel
I haven’t recorded anything yet on that site.

The challenge is called February Album Writing Month and can be found at fawm.org
The challenge is to write 14 songs in the 28 days of February. So basically a song every two days.

The site apparently gets scrubbed clean in January of all stuff from the previous year. Some FAWMers (as participants are called) might use another site to upload their recordings and then put the link on the FAWM website.

As for me... I don’t have anything recorded as Wren.

 

[RachelLynn]

Hi Rachel
I haven’t recorded anything yet on that site.

The challenge is called February Album Writing Month and can be found at fawm.org
The challenge is to write 14 songs in the 28 days of February. So basically a song every two days.

The site apparently gets scrubbed clean in January of all stuff from the previous year. Some FAWMers (as participants are called) might use another site to upload their recordings and then put the link on the FAWM website.

As for me... I don’t have anything recorded as Wren.

Wow, that would be intense to actually write that many songs so quickly! I like the idea though, I'll have to look into it more once you have some new stuff recorded lmk, I'll check out anything you have online already if you send me links. I've been wanting to do some collaborations remotely now that we live in rona-pocolypse world, maybe we could jam some time

 

[Tallulah]

You can start working on your voice now, even if you can't get your voice where you want it to be in a couple of weeks. For changing your singing voice gender presentation you start with the same techniques you use for your speaking voice.

 

[Monica]

This question is right up Stephanie Dykes's alley. Someone help with my brain fart as to her name on here. She sings in a male choral group. She'd be the one to talk to for experience.

I was hoping Stephanie might tell you of her experience. She has transitioned but sings in an all male choir. She uses her same voice and has had good reactions from others. There were some issues with the dress code for her, but I believe she worked them out. @CarolinaPhD can explain things better than I can. A friend of a local friend is a trans woman who sings with a male range voice. I think she plays clubs, well before Covid! Not sure what specific range! She has gotten positive feedback as far as I know. I think Stephanie comes on Zooms a bit later on Saturday night if you wanted to join a Zoom. Maybe you could get feedback there if you are interested in letting us hear you. Just tell Allie to add you to the list.

 

[a Birdie on a Wire]

Thanks Moni!
Maybe I'll join a zoom meeting someday soon. I've seen mention of it here and it sounds like it could be helpful and fun as well. I used to meet with a few transwomen friends for dinner once a month before covid and have missed doing that.

Anyway, so I reached out to a fellow participant on that music site (fellow FAWMer) who is a transmasculine enby and they wrote back with a really kind message and helpful ideas.

Here's what they said:
"First: your voice is yours and is nothing to apologize for (and if you identify as femme, then it's a femme voice!).
I know that's easier to say than to actually believe, though. I think you should do whatever makes you feel safest.
If that means setting some expectations in the liner notes, then that's great (I think I'd personally want to frame it as
setting some ground rules for the kind of feedback you want - you're well within your rights to say "I'm not interested
in comments about what my voice sounds like, let's focus on the song itself"). If that means just posting lyrics
and saving the recordings for yourself, that's also fine - there are many FAWMers who only write lyrics or
who don't feel comfortable enough with their voices [because of singing ability] to post audio."

Like they said, it is easier said than to believe. I think it kind of comes down to I need to get over my hangup. It certainly gives me food for thought and an idea of how I can proceed.

 

[Tallulah]

That's great feedback!