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Marcie's Re Introduction Thread!

OzGirl

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@marcieelizabeth came up with a great suggestion that those who have been around here for a while should re introduce ourselves to our newer members! So let's put up a couple of paragraphs to re introduce ourselve!

Thank You Marcie!

Hugs,

Allie
 
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OzGirl

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OK. I will kick this off. I'm Allie, 68 years young, from near Melbourne Australia. I knew from first awareness I should have been a girl, but it was impossible for me to do anything about it. I told my mother a couple of times, but she could not support me. After a harrowing puberty, I determined that I could never successfully transition, so set about making the best life I could as a male. I learned that my priority was having a baby, and as I couldn't do it myself, I got married. I told my wife about me before we married, but she never really understood, and left me to raise my 5 and 3 yo children. I am a passionat scuba diver and my long time buddy was a female who decided we should marry. I told her about me, but she went ahead with the marriage, and though bumpy, supported me to be me at home for 20 years.

I was struggling with increasing dysphoria in my 50's and at 65 it made me seriously sick. Though I didn't want to transition, the only cure was to start HRT. Luckily, my family, friends, workmates, and community all supported me. Dysphoria was still dominating my life, so 10 months after starting HRT, I went full time, and 22 months after starting HRT I had GRS, and it significantly reduced my dysphoria. It was a step too far for my wife, who had supported my transition, but she left me last September. I am getting used to living on my own, and have practically retired from work. My time is taken up by being active with trans communities, and supporting others. I am not a willing transitioner, and I do struggle with the life I feel has been thrust upon me. I don't think I pass, though some do, but I do live comfortably in my community, and I am loved by my family, so I really can't ask for much more.

Hugs,

Allie
 

KathyLauren

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I am 67 years old.

I didn't "always know" that I was a girl. I always knew I wasn't like other boys, but I had no idea why. In my dreams, I was a girl, but I thought everyone was like that. And I knew that the subject was taboo even before I knew it was a subject, so no help available.

Not being able to socialize as a girl and not knowing how to socialize as a boy, I had few friends. Like many of us, I joined the military to "man up". In the Air Force, I learned to fly and to teach flying, which taught me some self-confidence. I was a good pilot and a very good instructor. But I was pretty un-military, and I got out as soon as my contract permitted it. I went into a career in IT, and still had few friends.

I cross-dressed and liked it, but I had no idea why. I figured I must be some kind of pervert. I had no idea about trans people. I knew of Christine Jorgensen, Renee Richards and Wendy Carlos, so I figured that trans people were very rare and were all celebrities. That couldn't be me.

I married in my late 40s and set aside my "pervy" cross-dressing. I thought I could just not do it any more. I had no idea that it was tied to who I was; I thought it was something that one did or did not do, and one could choose. But the urge persisted.

Finally, at age 60, I encountered a trans woman in real life. What struck me was how normal she was. She was a speaker at a conference, and she delivered an interesting talk, and being trans had nothing to do with anything. That and the lack of reaction from the audience to her trans-ness opened my eyes, and I realized that normal people could be trans. Even me.

A couple of years later, I was out and on HRT, and a few years after that, I had GRS. I am much more confident about who I am. I know myself and like who I am. If some dastardly politician put a gun to my head and told me I had to de-transition or else, I would tell him to go ahead and shoot, because there is no way I am ever going back.
 

evenolderandcreakier

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I am 66 years old and creaky. I transitioned pre-Internet, so I transitioned largely alone. Forty years ago, I would never have guessed how widespread and public transitioning would become.

I live a quiet life on the New England coast. I garden and walk by the sea every warm day. I also meet with friends everyday. We laugh a lot.

I look like a typical New England crone, as grayed and weathered as driftwood. However, every year, my garden grows more beautiful and I look forward to witnessing that.
 

Linde

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And here she comes, the old hag. I recently turned 79 years old; and on paper, I would be a cis woman, and I am openly lesbian.
I was born in Germany as an intersex (Disorders of sex Development, or DSD) baby, and was surgically made into male shortly after I was born. My parents wanted a girl and they had me grow up female for the first 6 years of my life, along of my two years older sister. I had to become male, once I started school, because they went by the birth certificate.
When puberty came around, it forgot about me, and not much happened, I sure did not masculinize. Over the coming years, I feminized more and more (I think this was caused by the one ovary I have), and I grew into a very feminine looking "man". I met my wife, and she liked the way I looked, and we stayed married for 36 years. Looking back, we had a mostly lesbian relation, because my male genitalia never developed much. Our marriage broke up at the time that both of us went into menopause. Once alone, I slowly drifted more and more towards my female side, and eventually changed over into female, and later I had my genitals corrected, which was called "repair of an intersex vagina".
The reason that I call myself to be cis, is, because triggered by my request to get a new passport with the F gender identifier, following the German DSD law (the only way that Germany changes birth certificates) I had to submit my medical records, that clearly state that I have XX chromosomes, an ovary, no prostate and a tissue lump that could have become a uterus. It was decided that a mistake was made when I was AMAB, because it should have been AFAB. This was the reason that my birth certificate was changed to female, and I was female all of my life, just trying to act like a male.
Because of the fact that my gender at birth, my chromosomes, my phenotype and my gender awareness match, I am now cis, finally!

What connects me with the trans world is the fact that I, like any of you other women here, was forced to live like a man, and that the male life was not fitting for me at all.


Linde
 

Lexxi

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I'm Lexxi,
I knew from around the age of 4 or 5 that I wasn't really the boy that everyone thought I was. I'd never felt like a boy. I didn't know how to tell anyone because either. They would have thought I was crazy or something. So I kept quiet about myself and built up my "boy" disguise that eventually turned into my "man" disguise. It was a really good disguise and no one ever doubted I wasn't the person I portrayed. When I came out people were stunned!! No one every suspected a thing.

As I got older it became much harder to control my feelings. Eventually I knew I had to transition or perish. I chose to transition and I've never looked back. I just had my gender confirmation surgery and I'm beyond happy. For the first time in my life I feel like a whole and complete person.

Lexxi
 

Kenna

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Hi, I'm Kenna,
I'm just turning 67 and am in Melbourne, Australia. I was brought up by my mother who escaped my violent father while pregnant with me. It turned out that before school all the neighbouring kids of my age were boys and I was then sent to an all boys school to ensure that I had "appropriate male figures in my life as I grew up" which was really hard, as I never really fitted in, and had no examples of what it might be like to be a girl. The first time I had any significant contact with peer aged girls/women was when I started University, but by then I was also involved in a conservative evangelical group with very fixed ideas about gender. A consequence of this was that while I always knew I was different and never felt really comfortable with myself, but I had no idea why. For many years I was not even aware that being transgender was possible, but then the negative transgender memes started turning up in some films and as a mental health professional I eventually met a couple of trans women who were in the middle of mental health crises, further cementing a negative image of what being transgender was. It took until when I was 63, after my marriage had failed and my mother, who I'd been caring for had passed, when I was "wasting time" on YouTube that I came across first one then, following links, more very ordinary "normal" transgender women describing their transitions that I was able to very quickly realise that my true gender was female. It was a huge relief! I'd been experimenting with various different presentations of myself, but none had really felt right, whereas once I realised my true gender it was so obviously right! Since then I've enthusiastically embraced my femininity. Oestrogen (that's how we spell it in Australia) produced only very modest physical changes for me so I embarked on a bit of surgical journey with a result that I now blend in pretty well, to both others and myself, as just another older, retired woman. In day to day interactions I don't disclose that I'm trans but do so with people with whom I have more substantial relationships and readily identify as being transgender if the topic comes up in discussion. Unlike many, I received great support in my transition journey from my church and have since been elected to leadership positions.
 
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Joelallen

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I am 67 years old.

I didn't "always know" that I was a girl. I always knew I wasn't like other boys, but I had no idea why. In my dreams, I was a girl, but I thought everyone was like that. And I knew that the subject was taboo even before I knew it was a subject, so no help available.

Not being able to socialize as a girl and not knowing how to socialize as a boy, I had few friends. Like many of us, I joined the military to "man up". In the Air Force, I learned to fly and to teach flying, which taught me some self-confidence. I was a good pilot and a very good instructor. But I was pretty un-military, and I got out as soon as my contract permitted it. I went into a career in IT, and still had few friends.

I cross-dressed and liked it, but I had no idea why. I figured I must be some kind of pervert. I had no idea about trans people. I knew of Christine Jorgensen, Renee Richards and Wendy Carlos, so I figured that trans people were very rare and were all celebrities. That couldn't be me.

I married in my late 40s and set aside my "pervy" cross-dressing. I thought I could just not do it any more. I had no idea that it was tied to who I was; I thought it was something that one did or did not do, and one could choose. But the urge persisted.

Finally, at age 60, I encountered a trans woman in real life. What struck me was how normal she was. She was a speaker at a conference, and she delivered an interesting talk, and being trans had nothing to do with anything. That and the lack of reaction from the audience to her trans-ness opened my eyes, and I realized that normal people could be trans. Even me.

A couple of years later, I was out and on HRT, and a few years after that, I had GRS. I am much more confident about who I am. I know myself and like who I am. If some dastardly politician put a gun to my head and told me I had to de-transition or else, I would tell him to go ahead and shoot, because there is no way I am ever going back.
There's nothing really wrong being here OK!
 

Donica

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Hi @Joelallen! I see you are a new member and would like to personally welcome you to TransRefuge. I would also like to encourage you to visit our Introductions thread and tell us a little about yourself (Introductions | TransRefuge). We encourage all our new members to familiarize themselves with our site guideline and policies (Policies and Site Information | TransRefuge). Again, welcome to TransRefuge. Looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Enjoy!
Donica
 

a Birdie on a Wire

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Hi everyone. My name is Wren but some folks here call me Birdie. Either way is fine with me.

I‘m not very active as far as participating in the threads but I do check in at least a couple times a week if not more just to see how others here are doing.

I’ve been on hormone therapy for almost two years (next month will be 2yrs) and am transitioning toward looking female however I am an enby (nonbinary). which is why my moniker is Birdie On a Wire. Wren… a bird. Nonbinary… in between the two sides like sitting on a wire.

I’ve had such slow and almost undetectable physical changes that I still navigate the world about 99% of the time as a guy though. Weird huh.

I’m ok with it. Hormone therapy has been a huge relief in dealing with that to be honest.

But if I try… I clean up ok.
 

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Donica

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I'll be 65 in two weeks. I started sneaking into my mother's closet at age 5. I always did my best to put things back the way I found them, but somehow my mother always knew and would confront me about it on a number of occasions, but of course, I would deny it every time. I was such an angel lol. I wasn't sure what or why I was feeling the way I did, but I began to realize things about myself around 12 years old.

I started crossdressing privately at 18 years of age, in fact, the very first day I moved away from my parent's home and got my own apartment, I started buying my own women's clothing. I always had trouble with relationships all throughout my life, whether it was with girls or boys. I always had to be careful with what I said around other boys because I was always tempted to say something that a girl would say. Of course, that never ended well.

I was still crossdressing when I met my wife, and continued to do so all throughout our marriage, so being trans was no surprise to her, and with my kids growing up seeing their father wearing dresses just seemed normal to them. My dysphoria got worse over the years, such that, I couldn't live with myself. With no means to do anything about it, things started to unravel, lost my health, our finances, lost our house, one thing led to another, we separated and eventually divorced after 28 years of marriage.

It wasn't until after all that, at the age of 59, that I found the resources to begin transitioning. I hit the ground running and never looked back. If it wasn't for that day, I wouldn't be here today to tell you my story. I have never been happier than I am today. It's been a long and painful road getting to this point, but for me, it was a lifesaver. Come to think of it, because I was sneaking into my mother's closet, does that mean I've been crossdressing since 5 years old ?lol.

Donica
 

OzGirl

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I was sneaking into my mother's closet, does that mean I've been crossdressing since 5 years old ?lol.

Donica
Thank you Donica, and I think that you were crossdressing when you weren't in your Mother's clothes! Like the rest of us, you have been trans since birth!

Hugs,

Allie
 

Donica

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Thank you Donica, and I think that you were crossdressing when you weren't in your Mother's clothes! Like the rest of us, you have been trans since birth!

Hugs,

Allie
I'm just glad she never told my father. Being the salty old sea dog navy vet he was, he would have never allowed me to transition into the woman I was born to be. He might have thrown me out on the streets, where I would have reluctantly but gladly ended up as a sex worker trying to survive and save money for surgeries at age 5.
 

Michelle_P

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Personal Background:
I’m Michelle Paquette. I survived growing up in the 1950s and 1960s in the San Francisco Bay Area. I have three adult children from a first marriage. I remarried in 2020 and relocated to the Portland, Oregon area with my wife.

I identify as a Sapphic queer woman of transgender experience. My correct pronouns are She/Her/Hers. After initially being out in 1969 and subsequently receiving “reparative therapy,” I came out and fully transitioned in 2016.

Professional/Work Experience:
I hold a Bachelor of Science degree in Physics, and have worked in fields from nuclear power plant operations to software engineering, as both an engineer and an instructor. As an engineer I hold 19 patents for inventions used by hundreds of millions of people every day. As an instructor I have trained people in such varied areas as nuclear power plant operations, factory automation, and amateur radio.

Community Involvement:
I have been engaged in teaching and public speaking on both technical topics and social issues, particularly on the topics of intersectional feminism and gender. I have also served with Mt. Diablo Unitarian Universalist Church as a member, Worship Associate, and board member. Besides serving on the Board at MDUUC, I also recently served on the Rainbow Community Center of Contra Costa County (CA) board. In my Portland home I provide temporary accommodations for transgender persons recovering from surgery until they can safely travel home.
 

Maybebaby56

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I'm Lexxi,
I knew from around the age of 4 or 5 that I wasn't really the boy that everyone thought I was. I'd never felt like a boy. I didn't know how to tell anyone because either. They would have thought I was crazy or something. So I kept quiet about myself and built up my "boy" disguise that eventually turned into my "man" disguise. It was a really good disguise and no one ever doubted I wasn't the person I portrayed. When I came out people were stunned!! No one every suspected a thing.

As I got older it became much harder to control my feelings. Eventually I knew I had to transition or perish. I chose to transition and I've never looked back. I just had my gender confirmation surgery and I'm beyond happy. For the first time in my life I feel like a whole and complete person.

Lexxi
My goodness, Lexxi, you just told my story.

Me, last month. It's the most recent photo I have at the moment. It has been seven years since I started HRT and five years since my SRS. I'll be 65 in August and people say I look pretty good for an old broad. Living as a woman is a dream come true.

~Terri
Photo on 4-25-22 at 7.04 PM.jpg
 

Lexxi

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Ohhh Terri you look AWESOME!!!! I wish I looked like you. I'm still so damn manly looking that it's disheartening at times. Michelle said that she can tell I'm looking more and more feminine all the time....I just don't see it though. She told me to look at before and after pictures (which is hard for me because that's a huge dysphoria trigger for me). But I've forced myself to look at them and there's definitely a difference. But all I still see is a guy.

Maybe one day I'll get to where I can see my true self shining through. I sure hope I do because now I've got the correct body for it.
 

Kenna

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I'm looking more and more feminine all the time....I just don't see it though.
Lexxi,
Even after FFS it took me 6 months before I stopped seeing the man in the mirror. The turning point for me was when I saw myself being interviewed in a half-hour video (i.e. not reversed as in a mirror), after that the man was no longer in the mirror.
Hugs,
-Kenna
 

Maybebaby56

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Ohhh Terri you look AWESOME!!!! I wish I looked like you. I'm still so damn manly looking that it's disheartening at times. Michelle said that she can tell I'm looking more and more feminine all the time....I just don't see it though. She told me to look at before and after pictures (which is hard for me because that's a huge dysphoria trigger for me). But I've forced myself to look at them and there's definitely a difference. But all I still see is a guy.

Maybe one day I'll get to where I can see my true self shining through. I sure hope I do because now I've got the correct body for it.
Sweetie, I think your avatar looks very pretty! Don't forget I had $35K in plastic surgery done on my face. If you can't stand to look at your older pictures, then Michelle is right. You are becoming more feminine!

Speaking of FFS, whatever happened to Maddy? She went to Dr. Zukowski in Chicago. We are both Z-girls. I hope she is doing well.

Best regards,

Terri
 

TonyaJanelle

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Speaking of FFS, whatever happened to Maddy? She went to Dr. Zukowski in Chicago. We are both Z-girls. I hope she is doing well.
Haven't talked to her in a couple weeks. She's doing great as far as I know. She's been back to work for like 6 weeks now. Anything to add @Maddie ?
 
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