I Am My Own Ex Husband

[Maddie]

Hey everybody,
The garden reports green beans!
Experimenting with ways to eat them...

It is prerequisite for me to know I can be with a guy in order for me to go forward for the bottom surgery.

I like women but not enough to act like a man.

Dysphotic about sexual congress.
(dysphotic, if it is a word, is how it feels.)
No previous desire for vagina...
This is changes.

 

[Maddie]

Well I thought I was killing it anyway. What it is.

Should I have this in Blogs instead of Real Life Experience?

 

[Linde]

It sounds really funny, but I experienced this in real life and color. Shortly after I went full time, I went shopping at Costco, but still had my old membership card showing me as a guy.
I had my shopping card loaded to the top, and marched to the check out, and handed my card to the cashier. She looked at it, looked at me, and asked "excuse me mam, is your husband with you, because he has to be here for checking out with his card!" I was totally perplexed, and just could stammer "oh, I did no know that", and left my groceries behind. I decided to get a divorce from my old self guy that day, and got a new Costco card showing me as a female.

Hugs
Linde

 

[Maddie]

I think that was a perfect response Linde!
I want a Costco card, but it's far enough away from me that I haven't gotten one for me or my exes.

So many personae. Even the male ones. Can't maintain a monogamous existence even while celibate.

 

[Emma]

Glad you like my photos Emma!

Thank you for replying and sharing your opinion, and I apologize for unclearity.

"The world is full of lesbians, and that no man is needed.... " Now I'm lol...Where have I been? How could I not know that, being in this world, and on forums where that opinion is far from rare? Yes aware of that.

There was a time when mtf transexuals were stigmatized for wanting to be with women, and that time has passed.

Was posting about my transition, not yours or anyone elses...

I liked women but I guess not enough to overcome this in itself. And I do not know yet where this all goes for me.

I reserve the right to my own life opinion on what is necessary for me to know before getting the operation.

I could have phrased it more clearly as it being prerequisite for me to know I can deal with being on a guy before such operation.
That sound fair?

Im watching out for me, and posting about my experience.

Hoping I am welcome to do so here.

Sounds fair to me . We each define our own journeys. I’m glad your sharing your experiences. I did misunderstand it a bit but now I get it. I had deleted the previous post because I realized upon rereading that I likely misunderstood.

 

[Maddie]

I need to clarify something I said in my first post.

What I meant is that it's prerequisite for me to know I can be with a man, before I go and have bottom surgery. I have no general opinion about this that applies to anyone but me. Even if I did, I would be wise to keep it to myself.

There was a time when mtf transexuals were stigmatized for wanting to be with women. (I remember this, and knew someone who died detransitioning because of it)

That time is not now.

 

[Maddie]

Funny.
Your post was gone, and then mine was
Hugs girl

 

[Emma]

hugs

 

[Maddie]

I present as female (well I think so).
Legalities and HRT too, but no operation.


Clearly this is a work in progress.
Research is work.

Men and women hit on me. Not putting up with much right now, especially not from women. I know where that road gets me, and heck I was already equipped for that.
Guys are dirt or afraid oh well.

I don't hold strong hopes for finding a relationship, nor am I proposing this to anyone on this forum.
But wondering if this sounds like a fair deal...?

I want a guy to play with my little breasts and spank me in exchange for backscratches and blowjobs.

If they just want to vent on me their problems in one-way fashion, they need to pay up front.

Sound generally like a fair trade?

 

[Monica]

Your candidness has me smiling big time. I don't know that it matters what we think, but I will tell you what I think. I think we start somewhere. If a relationship happens, so much the better. I imagine guys would go for this, although I'm no expert. In the process of such an arrangement, you might learn more about what you what. If you can do it without too much risk, go for it. If I were more cynical, I'd say you have both groups of men covered, the ones who want a relationship and the ones who just want their knob polished.

 

[Maddie]

We are both smiling about something and this is wonderful Moni!

I have not always been a knob polisher. It's funny!!

Need to amend what I said about "men being dirt". When I say that I'm quoting one if the hottest sexiest women I known, and she still had it later in life. By posting that I was trying to invoke her power and be like she was

Someone needs to protect me from myself.

Cherry tomatoes are here!

 

[Maddie]

Mr Tomato was so concerned what people thought! That old protective vegefruit controlled my situation. Bless him. I'm gratefully still here squawking about it!

Ive been posting the same stuff on several forums looking for feedback and attention.
Needy like a hostile rescue pet.

Sometimes my posts get deleted, or I get a talking to
Or I have to change what I posted into stuff about gardens or cookies.

FYI I'm not just putting it up here and not somewhere else.

Squawk

 

[Maddie]

Immature and neglected.


If noone writes back I'm making a 2nd user profile to heckle myself.


Cheeto

Maeve in the cave

 

[TonyaJanelle]

Hey Maddie, everyone is looking good.
Some devilish looking eyes on the new kitty there.

How's things in the garden?

 

[Maddie]

Thank you Tonya beautiful lady!!

Maeve is a sweet little kitty despite her diabolical optics.

Garden is wunderbar. Grateful to have my little sanctuary, where I meditate and check out forums.

No beans for days
More tomatoes today

 

[Randi]

Looking good Maddie. Don't think I'll be messing with your cat. Looks fierce.

 

[Maddie]

Did some research.
Got enough answer to my question to keep moving forward.

Lady Sarah, when your husband sat with you in that video chat it was encouraging to me.

 

[Monica]

Maddie, Sarah, don't feel alone being into guys!

 

[Linde]

You ladies are screwing with my mind!!!!
Everybody knows that I am as lesbian as they come, or not? Well, now with the little testosterone added to my system, I once in a while get some romantic thoughts. Last night, shortly before falling asleep, I started to imagine that I might enjoy it to be laying with a nice man fter I had my surgery.
I am slightly confused now, could I be bi?

Hugs
Linde

 

[OzGirl]

You ladies are screwing with my mind!!!!
Everybody knows that I am as lesbian as they come, or not? Well, now with the little testosterone added to my system, I once in a while get some romantic thoughts. Last night, shortly before falling asleep, I started to imagine that I might enjoy it to be laying with a nice man fter I had my surgery.
I am slightly confused now, could I be bi?

Hugs
Linde

Linde, you keep trying to put yourself in a neatly labelled box, forget about trying to categorise yourself, live, be happy, and just see what happens. You are perfectly you!

Hugs,

Allie