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Help... How do I get my juvenile medical records unsealed? Suspected infantile intersex correction

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Okay, It might not mean anything. I might just be misinterpreting this but...

Today, just doing a bit of maintenance with the "down there" hair... I don't know if this is actually what I think, but I have scars - surgical type scars - on my... parts. Very light, almost unnoticeable, but sure as hell there.

The thing is, I've never had any surgeries there that I know of. I am well aware that it used to be a standard practice to "fix" "abnormal" genitalia in newborns. So, any thoughts/advice on figuring this out?

I've always felt distinctly not female, and on top if that, I've always felt that down there didn't look like it should. Not just in a dysphoria way, but in a way that it didn't look fully the way a female should, let alone how it should for me. It's never had the right amount of feeling, either. Next to none, in fact. I just never knew why I didn't enjoy any sort of sexual intercourse, even if I was into it, wanted it, and enjoyed the emotional aspect. There's a bit of feeling, but I've never had the sort of all encompassing pleasure you are supposed to.

I don't mean to sound offensive or insensitive, or at all hurtful. I just don't quite know if this really means what I think it does.
 
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Lexxi

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If you don't mind me asking why were your medical records sealed? Someone would have had to go to court to seal them. Do you recall something like that happening? Normally we're all allowed to look at our own medical records for as far back as the records go.
If they are sealed you'd probably have to hire an attorney then go to court to get them unsealed.

If you suspect you're intersex you can have a genetic test done (hopefully your insurance covers it because it's quite expensive) that will tell you your chromosomes. They say there's a workaround that will give you some information and it's a lot cheaper. You'd have to get one of those 23 and Me tests done. I don't remember exactly how you have to go about it, but if you're intersex I think it would give some false readings or something. I think you can get one of those tests done for about a hundred dollars.
 
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.. Oh.

No, I was told by my parents that receiving my medical records was impossible. However, considering my "parents" were and are abusive and transphobic, homophobic, and against everything other than straight white cisgender Christian, I wouldn't be surprised if they were lying.

But thanks for the tip about 23 and me, I was wondering if that was an option, I almost thought that was too easy.
 

Katie

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I tried to get my medical records last year and discovered that all of my records prior to 2015 were missing.
 

Linde

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.. Oh.

No, I was told by my parents that receiving my medical records was impossible. However, considering my "parents" were and are abusive and transphobic, homophobic, and against everything other than straight white cisgender Christian, I wouldn't be surprised if they were lying.

But thanks for the tip about 23 and me, I was wondering if that was an option, I almost thought that was too easy.
You can do the 23 and me test, and request the raw data (their evaluation has no value). Once you have this, you have to go through it line by line, to find any Y chromosomes. If they are there, and you were AFAB, you could have an intersex condition.
Do you menstruate normal? If not, you could also be CAIS, PAIS, or MAIS, and that does not show up in the chromosomes. I recently discovered that I am very likely PAIS in addition to other abnormalities.

I bet you will find some people here that will help you in your future determination of you possible intersex condition

Good luck

Linde
 
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Thank you, really.

Honestly, I have maybe one period a year if I'm lucky, and if I don't take hormonal birth control to "force" my body to menstruate, as the last obgyn told me I had to do.

I think I will do the 23 & me, but there's another thing, I have had hormonal tests, and the results were elevated testosterone and abnormally low estrogen. Make of that what you will, I justvv know thar I was growing a moustache naturally at fifteen.

I was confused as hell.
 

Linde

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It would be important to find out, why your sex hormones are so lop sided. Facial hair could be a genetic cause, if you have no other male typical, for a female abnormalities, you still could have some kind of androgen resistance, and that could cause the free testosterone in your blood. But as long as you have a period, it indicates that you have a uterus, and very likely at least one functioning ovary, which would exclude any of the *AIS syndromes.
How tall did you grow? Low estrogen during and shortly after puberty would have allowed you to grow as tall as your genes would allow (similar tall as your dad or brothers/cousins). Estrogen is the hormone that seals the growth plates of the long bones, and stuns any further growth. If it is not present in sufficient amounts, a person will grow as tall as the genetic margin of the person will allow.
Were your genitals manipulated with as an infant?
I would recommend, you either find an ob/gyn, or an endocrinologist, who is willing to dig deeper into your systems, to discover the reason why you are different.
The gene testing could be an initial hint to look deeper. My intersex condition was discovered through a genome analysis, and it was found that I was never a biological male, but a female. I was just misgendered after I was born, because I was a pseudo Hermaphrodit, and I had a very frustrating and partly miserable life, trying to be a man. I had low estrogen and testosterone, and I grew over 6' tall.



Linde
 
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Confused

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.. Oh.

No, I was told by my parents that receiving my medical records was impossible. However, considering my "parents" were and are abusive and transphobic, homophobic, and against everything other than straight white cisgender Christian, I wouldn't be surprised if they were lying.

But thanks for the tip about 23 and me, I was wondering if that was an option, I almost thought that was too easy.

Hi Soren,

I am a white Christian, although I would fail the straight cisgender categories. I'm sorry, but reading this just pressed my buttons.

Until about 4 years ago, I was pretty laid back and did not push my doctors much. After a botched surgery and not being able to get help, I got aggressive. My "christian" urologist tried to get my PCP to put me on an anti depressant after I made a scene in his office. That didn't happen. I had to diagnose myself and learned a lot of other things as well. I switched to a different urologist in a nearby college town.

Please don't take this wrong, but I would suggest asking your doctors how to access your records. If they won't tell you, locate the records department at the hospital where you were born or have used most of your life, and go up the ladder as necessary. You know your situation better than I do and whether this is possible for you. It was common even in the recent past for everyone to try to keep Intersex from being revealed, but you have the right to know. Please don't give in easily. Still, what type of Intersex condition you could or might have would more than likely require some kind of additional testing. Linde can help you with that.

I live in Arkansas with an environment where only male and female is allowed, but I have been somewhat resistant to their nonsense. If you can't get the medical field to move, or like in Katie's case the records are "lost," then 23 and me would be an option because legal help would be expensive. It shouldn't be like this, but in some areas it is.

Hugs,
Mike
 
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Thanks. A Lot. Everyone.

Honestly, this is pretty much the only place I feel even safe enough to discuss this crap. It's almost too much to even think about with everything else, right now. I live in Michigan, and overall, it's decent. However, the legal system, mainly the judge presiding over the unnecessary guardianship (autistic and with ableist parents+sister) is a self-described "far right nutcase", and the independent evaluator couldn't even imagine an autistic human without a guardian or capable of making decisions over a medical transition, and I haven't even been able to speak to my court appointed attorney, because he still hasn't - after four + weeks since the appointment - called me or gotten in contact. So, until I can legally have my records, I guess it's gotta wait...
 

Linde

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Soren, it seems to be rather common that many intersex persons are also autistic, I am also an Asperger's autist. But being autistic is not the same as being stupid or insane (I have enough brains that I could get a PhD). But sadly enough, you are caught in this legal mumble jumble, and have to find ways around it. Because of this, I would go a dual path, let the normal system work to get your records uncovered, while, at the same time, you do a 23 and me test to find out, if there is clear evidence that you might be intersex.

I wish you good luck in finding out more about your body, and I am ready to answer all the questions I can answer.

Linde
 
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Wow... Just unearthed something by accident.

Coming on the heels of putting my foot down with one of my providers, discovered I do, in fact, have a certain type of androgen excess syndrome, where I produce much more testosterone type hormones than average for a someone who is AFAB, plus had been born with, ahem, "abnormal physiological development" though, of course, it wasn't fully described. That, and the fact that there are scars of a certain nature very closely matching a described procedure to "correct" ambiguous genitalia in infants, removing an "enlarged clitoris" and conditioning the ambiguous parts to match typically presenting females is highly suspect.

Oddly enough, it's enough to know that I'm not crazy in how I remember my childhood going/puberty going. Sure, when I was 20, and got on birth control it helped present as more female, but, well, before that I'd had a lot more male characteristics than should have been present. Which, now, I understand. I get why my voice deepened, why I can't feel much "down there", and why I'd had a dark moustache and a lot of hair, virtually all over, until I was put on feminine hormones.

Finally, I got answers, even if it's vague. And yeah, I still suppose I'm trans, because I'm still certain I'm masc, if not fully male, and I still have a long way to go overall, but hey, just started T three weeks ago yesterday. I actually feel so much better than I had been in a long time, to be honest.
 

Linde

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Soren, it is hard to say if intersex people who change gender presentation are trans or not. Like the laws in Germany and some other countries say we are not trans, because we just decide which of our gender parts we want to present, and we do not really need to transition to do this.
If you feel that your body masculinized after puberty, it would be of interest to see how your inside looks. Do you have organs that are not clearly feminine, or even masculine? If this is the case, you are clearly intersex. I have one ovary, and some lump of tissue that seems to be a combination of a prostate and a uterus.

However, if the masculinity is only part of you phenotype, it might be caused by a hormonal imbalance, caused by some part of your body responsible for your hormones (like the pituitary gland) not working properly. This would not mean you are intersex, but could either have a genetic mutation or a health problem of this body part.
To find this out, would mean more medical tests, etc. On the other had, if you are happy to live and be seen as a trans male, go for it and live a happy life.


Linde
 

Lexxi

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Soren I'm really glad that you're feeling better. It seems like when our bodies get on the hormones they should have been on all along, it makes us feel so much better.

As for the trans thing intersex people are considered to be under the trans umbrella (it's a BIG umbrella). But if you don't want to claim that you don't have to. It's totally up to you. No one should be forcing anything on anyone else. Many intersex people feel very comfortable saying their trans and others don't feel like they want to identify that way.
It's all up to you!
 
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