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have my first gender clinic appointment in 5 days (26th) and im super excited but terrified

sam

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not only do i have the normal worry/fear but i have PTSD caused by doctors/hospitals (the reason i am only just doing this at 26 as i had no way to go private and going through the NHS would mean going to the hospital which would be impossible, i cant even go to my gp because of this as well as my poor health so people come to my house, as well as seeing someone that is part of the reason i have PTSD, there is also no gender clinic in the northern half of my country so someone comes to my city once a month, and for as far as i know for 1 day, and i have heard awfull things about the gender clinic in my city) so im desperatly hoping the gp i will be going to does not look/sound/smell medical so it doesnt trigger flashbacks, from the outside it looks good.

i also have a problem where since my brain is constantly overactive and doing everything it shouldnt (as well as autism and cerebral palsy i have CRPS and FND), it randomly shuts down to reset itself which makes me fall asleep randomly. this lasts between a few minuits (although it is rarely this short) and 4 hours so if i dont fall asleep before we leave or on the 2 hour long drive i could fall asleep during the appointment.
 

Confused

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Congratulations Sam! I was scared and didn't know what to expect going to my first therapist appointment, but it turned out really well.

Hugs,
Mike
 

pamelatransuk

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Hello again Sam

I know from your post in September that you are referring to YourGP in Scotland.

I started my journey also privately with GenderGP (which certainly covers England and Wales and probably further afield) and they have provided a very good all round service.

You should hopefully receive the same at YourGP. My only advice is to be as honest as you can in the discussion and try to overcome the embarrassment from which we all suffer at the start.

Wishing you happiness and success both on Thursday 26th and thereafter.

Hugs

Pamela xx
 

Katie

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I'm so happy to hear this, @sam. I know it's been a long wait for you.
 

sam

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im so excited. i realised i was trans in primary school after watching a documentary that i now know was very bad, it convinced me that i would grow out of it so i supresed it. obviously iit didnt work. i really wish i could have come out sooner but i was never beleaved (both with this and medically as i have spent my life having to convince doctors that i had anything wrong with me from my birth defect, to my skin condition, to autism, to cerebral palsy)
 

Confused

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Hi Sam,

I have also seen things that say you can grow out of being trans. Maybe some do, but it is obvious many of us don't. There was no Internet when I was young and I had no clue what was going on in my head.

I'm with Pamela. We all start with embarrassment when we first start to talk with someone. Just be as honest as you can and it should turn out good.

Hugs,
Mike
 

sam

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well, that was really hard. before we even left the lift in my van broke down (it went up and down but it would not fold up, my mum ended up forcing it closed manually) so by the time we drove the 2 and a half hour drive we were late but he had an open slot after mine so i got the whole appointment. even when we hot there the curb was not lowered and there was 2 different steps so my mum had to go inside and find someone to bring out a ramp that had to be replaced at each step.

during the appointment i was having a breakdown the entire time, it didnt help that i kept misunderstanding him (stupid autism).

i have my second appointment with him, thankfully through skype, on the 23rd of march, i will have the psych appontment through skype probably in jan or feb and a blood tet around then as well and if the blood test looks good and my doctor is happy to pay (he said he will) then he should prescribe me t during my appointment with him.

that is longer than i hoped it woud take but he is booking up fast, hence why i had to wait so long for this appointment.
 

Katie

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Wow, March? That's a really long time. I would think they would want to meet with you at least virtually a few times in between.
 

sam

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Wow, March? That's a really long time. I would think they would want to meet with you at least virtually a few times in between.
he said that since i seem so sure and with my history that he is happy just having one more appointment
 

pamelatransuk

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Hello again Sam

I am glad you managed to overcome any obstacles which you must have, as only one more appointment deemed necessary.

I wish you further success with psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist and with your Blood Tests.

Hugs

Pamela xx
 

sam

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just got my letter from my gender specialist. im so excited, i feel so affirmed. i have been too scared to go to a specialist for years as i have heared such bad things about the nhs gender clinic, especially the one in my city, denying people and im so glad i could go private (the reason i couldnt go private before is my mum had to drive me for hours and she refused before now). i will speak to the psychiatrist in a couple of months and once i get her letter i can change my gender marker changed.
 

Monica

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Great news Sam!
 

Katie

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Sam, things are looking very positive for you. I'm really happy to hear that things are moving in the right direction for you.
 

Donica

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Your moving right along Sam. That's great news.

Hugs!
 

SJ_Linkey

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Sam, hope everything went well with your first appointment. I have my first (but not really the first) appointment on Tuesday (8th Dec), I say that cause I have been away from the seeing the clinic when my health wasn't doing so well and having one of the Psychiatrist calling me a cross dressing transvestite. But the newer staff that I am seeing seems nice so far and looking forward to having the video conference and having an open dialogue. Wishing you all the best on your journey.
 
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sam

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Sam, hope everything went well with your first appointment. I have my first (but not really the first) appointment on Tuesday (8th Dec), I say that cause I have been away from the seeing the clinic when my health wasn't doing so well and having one of the Psychiatrist calling me a cross dressing transvestite. But the newer staff that I am seeing seems nice so far and looking forward to having the video conference and having an open dialogue. Wishing you all the best on your journey.
thats awefull, how could they let someone like that do that job
 

SJ_Linkey

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thats awefull, how could they let someone like that do that job
Sadly in those times we didn't have many psychiatrists in the field and this one had replaced another doctor (Dr. Hurbert Bower) who had passed away when I was about to see them in 2003 and attended to Dr. Bower's memorial as part of the Trans community. But now we have quite a few psychiatrists both in the public and private sectors. Sadly the one who called me a transvestite is still in the private sector but many trans people have avoided to see him cause for his reputation.
 

sam

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just got a call from the gender clinic and the psycologis has said that she wont do my appointment on video call so on the 11th of january i have to travel back down to the clinic AGAIN. i cant beleve it. it was so hard both phhysically and mentally the first time. i had multiple panic attacks, one of them was leaving when i almost fell out of the chair goind downthe ramp as it was too steep.
 

Linde

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just got a call from the gender clinic and the psycologis has said that she wont do my appointment on video call so on the 11th of january i have to travel back down to the clinic AGAIN. i cant beleve it. it was so hard both phhysically and mentally the first time. i had multiple panic attacks, one of them was leaving when i almost fell out of the chair goind downthe ramp as it was too steep.
Did she say why she does not want a video appointment? Can you try to change this by telling her how difficult and dangerous it is for you to travel to her location? Use similar examples you just made here.
Good luck!

Hugs
Linde
 
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