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Do you think therapy is neccesary or just more gatekeeping?

Lady Sarah

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2019
Messages
266
Linde said:
OK my dear, I have the same Medicare deal you have.  Until last year I had that rolled into a medicare advantage plan, which did cost not a single extra penny, but covered most of my medications for free, and copay only for estrogen and progesterone.
But the copay for doctors were higher than I wanted to have them.  This year I went with the medicare plan plus an extra plan to cover the copays and the medication, because I was expecting (and still hope for it) that my surgery would be this year.  his new plan leaves me with very minimal copay for all doctor visits and procedures.
If surgeons see that you have good insurance coverage over and above Medicare they are willing to accept you, because they would know that they are not sitting there not getting their money.

Check around what Medicare Advantage Plans are available for you (I have Humana)for time being, they should be without cost for you.  After that you can check for surgeons and therapists, etc.; and once you are settled with a surgeon (to find one took me week, cause I contacted every institution), you can do for next year (or the year of the surgery) a Medicare Supplemental Insurance Plan, (they cost some monthly money, I also have Humana for that one), which would cover most of the copays over Medicare.
I had a broker finding my plans, they are free of charge for medicare members.  Look for Medicare Insurance Broker, or I can connect you with the office I use.



Hugs
Linde
The plan I have is with United. Unfortunately,  they are infamous for not covering certain procedures.

There is a multitude of plans I can go with that won't cost me any additional money. The bad part is that I cannot check and see what types of therapists and or surgeries they will pay for until after I sign up and try to use the insurance for that.

Phillip even talked to his HR department about having me on his insurance for that purpose. His insurance will not cover the surgery either.
 

OzGirl

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 24, 2019
Messages
732
Sarah, I was able to send my surgeon’s itemised quote to the insurance companies here, so they could go through it and confirm they would cover everything not covered under our national heath scheme. And this was before I signed up with them! They all had a 12 month qualifying period , and know I would need to maintain the policy for at least a couple of years after surgery in case of revisions, so I guess they figure they will get their money back!

Allie
 

Emma

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
68
When I started, I needed a letter from a therapist just to get on hormones back in the day lol. I’m sure it’s still filed away in some dusty office. Then years later, had my therapist and doc write letter for SRS and BA. While I resent the hoops we have to go through just to get medical care for our medical condition, I never felt like my therapist have been gatekeepers.

I’ve had several therapist over the last 25-ish years. A psychiatrist in Minneapolis was my first. A great lady who was the first to officially diagnose me. Transsexualism was my only mental condition. Obviously there was depression, anxiety, and dysphoria that went along with that. She once told me I was the strongest of her Minneapolis trans women which was odd because when I came to her I was at the point of transition or die and a hot mess lol. Then there was a gal in Milwaukee at pathways for single and group therapy. Me and a great trans woman (Dawn) who was a friend of mine used to drive over together. The group I always saw as a waste of time tbh. But it was worth it just to chill at Denny’s afterward with Dawn. Then I had a trans man as a therapist and he was awesome. I only stopped seeing him because i had to switch insurance to have my awesome GP. It was really nice because he just instinctively understood it. My last and current therapist I’ve had for years and she’s awesome. If anyone is in Madison, I’d highly recommend her. I would say she is probably the one person who knows me better than my husband. Well my “sis” knows me pretty darn well too. But I still go to my therapist even though the letter writing is all long done.

The best advice I can give is to not tell your therapist what they want to hear. Keep it real and open up. They’re duty bound to never disclose your secrets so you can rest assured. There’s generally very little you could possibly say that would surprise them and it’s their job to help you work through things. But they can help best when your completely honest. Mostly these days it’s various family members shutting me out and other things rather than trans issues.

But tbh transition can be complex and there are things your going to want professional advice on. I know there’s a cost to them and that can be prohibitive but I do encourage people to take advantage of their expertise.

As a side note, it’s also a good idea for your significant other to see a therapist as well. My husband sees one and we see a psychiatrist together. It’s often as complex for them as it is for us. I could go on and on ... and on about having a partner through all this, but that’s a large topic for another time. I’ve been with my partner and husband for 20 years and there have been A LOT of changes over that time.
 

Moni

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
546
Being a long thread, I'll admit to coming here late and skimming a bit. I went for the required therapy, but I really struggled many times to think of what to talk about. I pretty much had figured out my relationship to being trans. If it isn't a tangent from the thread, I would be curious if anyone has been to a sex therapist. I really think that is something I could use. I don't know if they could really help. This is where the rubber meets the road for me.
 

Emma

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Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
68
Being a long thread, I'll admit to coming here late and skimming a bit. I went for the required therapy, but I really struggled many times to think of what to talk about. I pretty much had figured out my relationship to being trans. If it isn't a tangent from the thread, I would be curious if anyone has been to a sex therapist. I really think that is something I could use. I don't know if they could really help. This is where the rubber meets the road for me.
I haven’t been to a sex therapist, but my regular therapist handles that. Same with my spouses therapist. I had a long thing typed out but what I just typed is the gist. Most therapist especially one versed in trans issues can help with sex related things. Mine has helped with everything from my genital dysphoria and what I enjoy as well as how orgasms change throughout transition. To romance and intimacy topics. You have to feel pretty comfortable talking openly about things with the therapist but imho most can help in that regard. Best imho if they have trans experience.
 

Lexxi

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Staff member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
503
I went to see a therapist so I could get my letter to start HRT. I would have loved to keep going to see her, but sadly my insurance doesn't cover therapy, or they make it extremely hard to get reimbursed for it I should say. I don't know how I did it, because I'm really shy, but I totally opened up to my therapist about my feelings. I discussed stuff with her that I'd never told another soul in my life. Because I was able to do that it only took her about 35 or 40 minutes to realize that I really am trans. I mean I knew I was...but I expected that I'd have a much harder time making her see that.

I was so relieved when she stopped me and said that she wanted to show me something. She pulled out the DSM-V and told me that there were 6 markers for gender dysphoria. To get a diagnosis of gender dysphoria I would have to have 2 of the 6. Then she told me that I had all of them to one degree or another. She said, without a doubt at all, that I had gender dysphoria and that she would write a letter for me...but she wanted to see me a few more times so it didn't appear that she was rushing anything. Even though I've known since I was 5 years old that I was stuck in the wrong body, it sure was a huge relief to have that confirmed by a real medical professional.

It was also a relief to be able to get so many things off my chest about my life. Things that I had kept totally secret from every other living being. As I sit here writing this I just now realized something. May 20th marks my one year coming out anniversary!! I'm so happy with how my life is going now.
 

TonyaJanelle

Future crazy cat lady
Joined
Dec 23, 2019
Messages
569
As a side note, it’s also a good idea for your significant other to see a therapist as well. My husband sees one and we see a psychiatrist together. It’s often as complex for them as it is for us. I could go on and on ... and on about having a partner through all this, but that’s a large topic for another time. I’ve been with my partner and husband for 20 years and there have been A LOT of changes over that time.
Something I've been trying to tell my wife. Didn't usually go well the few times she went with me to my appointments.
 

Moni

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
546
I haven’t been to a sex therapist, but my regular therapist handles that. Same with my spouses therapist. I had a long thing typed out but what I just typed is the gist. Most therapist especially one versed in trans issues can help with sex related things. Mine has helped with everything from my genital dysphoria and what I enjoy as well as how orgasms change throughout transition. To romance and intimacy topics. You have to feel pretty comfortable talking openly about things with the therapist but imho most can help in that regard. Best imho if they have trans experience.
Thanks @Emma , I don't think my therapist could have helped in my case. He is a trans guy, and I don't think it would have done it for me. At best the subject would be a sideline, not a specialty for him.
 

OzGirl

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Dec 24, 2019
Messages
732
And taking my wife to a session was embarrassing. I did tell the psychologist my wife was there to observe only, but the psych took it as a challenge to get something from my wife. No matter how many times the psych asked my wife what she felt, my wife sat there with her lips clamped shut. It is embarrassing to see an adult in a psychological session with zipped lips. It wasn't a total loss as my psych got some idea of my frustrations at home.

But even with all that, we managed to maintain our relationship as best friends living together. The science of keeping relationships together is so complex you could never write a book to suit all, or even most situations. There are a few basic principles and from there each case is vastly different.

Hugs,

Allie
 

Linde

Administrator
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Joined
Dec 10, 2019
Messages
2,014
I still see my therapist about every 6 to 8 weeks. My insurance does not cover ehr, but I feel seeing her is well invested money. She currently helps me with my deep sitting confusion of my sexual orientation. Without her, I would feel pretty lost with my feelings.


Hugs
Linde
 
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