Discovering Ava

[Ava_Marie]

You Don't Say!
Attended a webinar today hosted by the Mortgage Bankers Association (yes, I work in that industry) on Communications that was specifically for Women Leaders in the industry. As I was listening to the presenter I recognized that a number of the helpful hints and guidelines seemed to be about making Women's communication more male, that is, more direct and forceful. I found this a bit problematic based on my limited experience as I have been called out several times at work for being direct and standing up for myself. For example: I was cautioned about being "Abrupt" when I had not started an on-line Chat with a friendly greeting i.e. "Hello" or "Good Morning". On another occasion I was provided a verbal warning because I called out male co-workers for interrupting me multiple times during daily meeting I lead. I know a part of this is due to the double standards for Male and Female behavior but I had not expected such blatant disparate treatment. Not sure what the experience of others have been and I would be interested in hearing about the experiences of other Transgender Women.

 

[Linde]

Well Ava, I think this is a fact. Once you wear a skirt and have long hair, you automatically loose part of your intellect and abilities. And when your hair is blond, you lose some extra points it seems.
this is even the case in the academic world. It seems that a PhD for females has a lesser value than a PhD for guys.

Hugs
Linde

 

[Donica]

It's sad that we still live in such dark ages. One day they will learn that women are far more intelligent.

 

[Donica]

Remember the male ego is easily bruised.

 

[Michelle_P]

Being talked over in meetings, having your own statements ignored and later fed back to you by a male, and having areas of your own expertise explained to you all mark that the men see you as not being one of them. It’s sort of a rite of passage for a woman of transgender experience, suddenly having less privilege than the men.

And yes, failing to adapt to this, continuing to use the direct and assertive style men use in a business meeting WILL get you tagged as being ‘pushy’, ‘aggressive’ and my favorite, “not a team player.” Men display their fragility in this pretty directly.