Discovering Ava

[Ava_Marie]

You Don't Say!
Attended a webinar today hosted by the Mortgage Bankers Association (yes, I work in that industry) on Communications that was specifically for Women Leaders in the industry. As I was listening to the presenter I recognized that a number of the helpful hints and guidelines seemed to be about making Women's communication more male, that is, more direct and forceful. I found this a bit problematic based on my limited experience as I have been called out several times at work for being direct and standing up for myself. For example: I was cautioned about being "Abrupt" when I had not started an on-line Chat with a friendly greeting i.e. "Hello" or "Good Morning". On another occasion I was provided a verbal warning because I called out male co-workers for interrupting me multiple times during daily meeting I lead. I know a part of this is due to the double standards for Male and Female behavior but I had not expected such blatant disparate treatment. Not sure what the experience of others have been and I would be interested in hearing about the experiences of other Transgender Women.

 

[Linde]

Well Ava, I think this is a fact. Once you wear a skirt and have long hair, you automatically loose part of your intellect and abilities. And when your hair is blond, you lose some extra points it seems.
this is even the case in the academic world. It seems that a PhD for females has a lesser value than a PhD for guys.

Hugs
Linde

 

[Donica]

It's sad that we still live in such dark ages. One day they will learn that women are far more intelligent.

 

[Donica]

Remember the male ego is easily bruised.

 

[Michelle_P]

Being talked over in meetings, having your own statements ignored and later fed back to you by a male, and having areas of your own expertise explained to you all mark that the men see you as not being one of them. It’s sort of a rite of passage for a woman of transgender experience, suddenly having less privilege than the men.

And yes, failing to adapt to this, continuing to use the direct and assertive style men use in a business meeting WILL get you tagged as being ‘pushy’, ‘aggressive’ and my favorite, “not a team player.” Men display their fragility in this pretty directly.

 

[Kenna]

In contrast, in my old workplace, which is more, but not totally, dominated by women (mental health care) I strongly suspect that on at least one occasion I experienced prejudice while presenting as male, although it would be impossible to prove. However I recognise that's unusual across most workplaces. I'll undoubtedly have bigger hurdles in the future!
Cheers,
-Kenna

 

[Ava_Marie]

As we approach another Transgender Day of Visibility, once again the Pros and Cons of visibility come into focus for me. I am by no measure a firebrand advocate who pushes Transgender issues everywhere I go. I have respect for those who have the resilience, energy, and personality to do so. I have the same respect for those who quietly and anonymously experience the joy of living as their true selves. What I understand however is that if we do not make efforts to be visible, the truth about who each of us is, and therefore the larger truth about Transgender people, will be lost in the noise of lies, misinformation and fear mongering promoted by some. As some may understand, having to constantly fight the same battle in a world that seems to care more about the outcome of some tediously trivial reality show, than any issue of substance or importance can be mentally and emotional exhausting. However I also recognize that if too many of us live in silence, our struggle, our importance, and the history of our presence will be lost. It is stories like this one that remind me why we need to continue to stand up and share who we are. We may not see the impact we make simply by acknowledging who we are, but each act regardless of how we perceive its importance, has an impact. I had not heard of Robina Asti until today when I saw a post regarding her passing in an aviation group that I belong to. Stories like this need to be remembered and retold to give hope, preserve our collective memories, and preserve our impact on this world. Flying Solo: Robina Asti

 

[Donica]

Robina Asti's story is very touching and empowering. Her story brought tears to my eyes. I for one, shall most certainly continue to celebrate and share her life. Thank you my dear Ava for sharing Robina's story with us.

Hugs!