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Diary of a Mad Trans Woman( GRS Vlog/Countdown)

Linde

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And all of a sudden, it is over, and you wonder into which sections of the down side area they put the old nerves.
They only thing for sure is that it is not the tip of your penis that feels like it is itching once you feel such an itch.

Hugs
Linde
 

Madrhode

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23 nights remaining.
I am of course in Panic at the disco mode. I have all my supplies for surgery. tons of gauzes gloves healing lotions antibacterial soap, pads, baby wipes antibacterial wipes, lube, back scratcher, selfie stick, and vaginal douce. I can say march first is going to suck. I have to use ducolax, miralax fleet enemas and magnesium citrate. I do not know how I am going to do this, but I will. I keep panicking so please just keep me on point, my lovely tribemates. I am actually scared, scared it wont happen, scared Ill get covid, scared I will get the surgery. It is just scary, scared to call my paternal grandfather today, but my grandmother gave me his number. I hope the day is fine. It will start moving fast tomorrow. I have started drinking some like ok small shots but just enough to fall asleep, it is just enough to cause me to relax. I am hoping my batch of brownies get made for after surgery and my recovery is more of a high time lol Let it be know I dont drink I have only used the shots three times in last week and on a liil over half shots, as for brownie use I on occasion like once every three months use it in edible mode, I use it for nervousness and anxiety. but I also believe it is healthy and the herbal brownie is a great product to take the edge off and it helps with pain. My therapist is even ok with it because I hardly use it. I am hoping this all works out. I just wonder how it is going to be as I sit down to do pee and dont have to push my dick down to aim it in the bowl. I really can not wait. I have started thinking about dating and what it will be like riding the pony. I dont know like I am kind of sad in away, I have never penetrated anyone but once, like did I cause it to be a sad penis? kidding lmao. I am counting down the days as this is all down hill from here. i work tomorrow and monday. I meet with surgeons on tuesday and hospitalist. I then work wednesday, then electrolysis and two hours at the dentist on thursday then I am off friday and then after that every day is just the last week of work and me driving myself nuts avoiding covid. I sure hope this is avoided. I like yall but I may wear my mask to zoom meeting I dont want yall to give me a virus lol I have decided to just take a step back from worrying about moving because I am to stressed out. I can not focus on it. I do not know how excited I am. I am excited, but also curious. This is going to be a long haul trip into the damsel zone. I was close but didnt have the equipment and I want to be able to date and be with someone. I am like open 40% with a guy, 25% with a trans man, 20% with women (including post op trans women and my bias but 15% with a pre op transwoman unless she is going to transition, I guess because I am like ok with it, but I mean I just either want some one that is not manly dominate ? with my submissive, I know I guess I really cant explain it. I dont know what my hang up is, I mean I might still fall in love with a pre op transwoman or non op but I guess I see much of last few years of myself in that and I do not feel attracted to that. I will say that could so change. My attraction is mine and Im being open. It might change after surgery as well, I know this may be seen as wrong but I wont apologize for it. Well there is no going back after this. Time to get this day started. Love yall be good. Im going to keep my self sane and see you all tonigh. woo hoo it is almost here. 3 and a half weeks left.
 

Madrhode

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56339F86-2CC6-44B3-98EF-02FDDE8FD104.jpegWell wonder if I have enough pads
 

NicoleT

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Well least you’re not over thinking about it....Lol...

I just caught up your thread. I unfortunately do not have a lot to add as per how it’s going to feel, what recovery will be like and such, since I am behind you. I can tell you stay calm relax you can’t make tomorrow happen any quicker than it’s going to come. You look well prepared, you have researched everything your can, you have great doctors to help you out, you are going to be a great success.

Then you could tell me what I need to do. Lol...

I am very excited for you.....Let’s face it, you’re a survivor and you will definitely come out of this stronger.

Hugs
Nicole
 

Madrhode

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I want to try to speed this week up. Speed up speed up speed up. Well one more day and then I is my pre op appointment. It will only be onwards and upwards or inwards? I hope it works out
 

NicoleT

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I am positive it will work out you’re in very good hands.
 

Linde

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I want to try to speed this week up. Speed up speed up speed up. Well one more day and then I is my pre op appointment. It will only be onwards and upwards or inwards? I hope it works out
Just relax. In no time you will participate in our discussion on what one can carry in the kitty.

Hugs
Linde
 

Madrhode

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Why yes, as a matter of fact I am . If @Linde can have a bag of endless cavernous space then why can’t I have the Grand Canyon, @Moni ?
 

NicoleT

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Hey why not ......go big........my ass has its own ZIP Code😉

Funny though every time I think of the Grand Canyon it somehow brings me back to the Thelma and Louise movie where they hit the gas and go into the ravine............ then of course I think about Brad Pitt in that movie...... .....
then other funny thoughts start happening..........

wait a minute .......what were we talking about?
 

Monica

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Maddy, be on the lookout for Thelma and Louise!
 

Linde

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I think Thelma and Louise could be okay. I would be concerned about the car, those mufflers get darn hot.

What are we talking about anyway?

Hugs
Linde
 

Madrhode

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Damn I have linde beat then if it’s done and I can shove two people and a car in it then damn... though brad Pitt sounds nice 😻
 

Donica

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You know what they say "Go Big Or Go Home!"
 

Linde

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You girls are nuts! Here I sit with my kitty, and try to get ideas what I can do reasonably with the thing, and you talk about shoving people and cars into it.
Get real people, lipstick and a eyeliner pen make sense, but cars????


Hugs
Linde
 

CrackDown29

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Imma just hop in and say as an AFAB, I have never considered storing items in my vagina. Maybe I just wasn't sexually active enough to be chill w shoving items down there :ROFLMAO:
 

Madrhode

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Imma just hop in and say as an AFAB, I have never considered storing items in my vagina. Maybe I just wasn't sexually active enough to be chill w shoving items down there :ROFLMAO:
I mean what else do you need it forbid not for storage?
 

Linde

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I mean what else do you need it forbid not for storage?
That is what I say, why have the pouch, if you are not using it?
Imma just hop in and say as an AFAB, I have never considered storing items in my vagina. Maybe I just wasn't sexually active enough to be chill w shoving items down there :ROFLMAO:
See, you missed out on it. If you would have started early enough, a nice little car may have fitted in? 🚗

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Linde
 

Madrhode

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nineteen days left
ok so what another shitshow in the life of Maddy
Lets see Monday my sister was senthome from the school for covid symtoms but for her thats normal she had bad allergies so I didnt cancel my preop yet and she went and got tested tuesday while I was doing my preop. She didnt tell me she was sent home she also broke her toe so I thought she stayed home. Anyway tuesday I go see Crane and Santucci and it is mostly cool. I really like dr santucci, Crane I like but not so much. After santucci walked out Crane walked in mask below his nose (Makes me question if he is as good as I hoped) Mask is nothing normally but hey your a renowned surgeon requiring covid test I would hate for your patients from out of state to catch covid because you didnt wear a mask at their preop . JERK and brought in a trainee breasts doctor who I did not like wholeheartedly. The Trainee was like I think bigger for him would be good.. Him! Him! and then he left the room saying good day sir.(slap him for me @NicoleT when you go in. Kidding dont actually do it... secretly hoping you do. Like reallyyou want to work at this center for trans clients and you misgendered me twice!! Asshole! Anyway got all my prescritions and paid for my leave paperwork. Anyway went to the hospital doctor and got approved for surgery. The damn doctor had my phone when my sister texted my niece was exposed to covid on saturday. we shared the van on saturday all day fuck me. so she got tested tusday afternoon. I got tested sunday to make sure I was negative for crane and as of tuesday night it showed I was negative. I tested yesterday morning and am still waiting on the reesults from current one but I feel great. Anyway yesterday my niece while I was at work had a sharp temp rise and is on the quarantine list for school . My sister is sick too we are waiting for their test results.. So I am now barricaded in my room no leaving . I even have a pee jug, disgusting I know I am hoping with tons of lysol and only leaving my room to poop that I can manage to avoid this shit. If I keepo turning up negative I am good. Fingers crossed. Anyway my boobs are 600 cc thanks @Moni , Im cleared for surgery pending I do not catch covid. If I catch covid between now and then my surgery is canceled so heres to my self staying negative I still feel great and hopefully stay negative.
 

OzGirl

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Wow! You so much deserve to get through all this as smoothly as possible after all these hurdles!!! Stay isolated and sterilise everytime you touch something. Address Crane as mister Crane until he asks you to call him doctor, and then say you will if he calls you Ms or M'ame! For some reason, misgendering is not that uncommon in trans health providers, as I have heard of this many times before, even in my country.

My fingers and toes are crossed for you Maddy!!!

Hugs,

Allie
 
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