Madrhode
Well-known member
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2020
- Messages
- 231
- Gender Pronouns
- She, Her, Hers, Herself
- Gender Identity
- Female
New year and another year gone!
I will say that while this past year has been a scat storm, one for the history books! It has actually been a remarkable one for me, personally. About this time last year I learned how awesome my company is in regards to transition coverage. So I set up my GRS consult. I met with my surgeon, Dr. Santucci at the Crane Center for Transgender Surgery (CCTS) in Austin, TX. on February 26th. We had decided to do the surgery in December of 2020 or January 2021.
Then the 27th hit and our landlord decided that she wanted to sell the house my roommates, their child and myself lived in. At this time they did not know that I was T. This time the pandemic was just beginning to emerge from its lair and instead of heeding warning we went to the circus twice (I did not know the show would be a year long.) Following this, I had my pre-op appointment for my weight loss surgery and having started off 2019 at 426 pounds I was going to die. I lost forty pounds to get this. I was at 383 pounds and was ready for surgery. We were packing our belongings and I had a decision to make. I had a place to go but my roommates had become family and I was lying to them so I had to decide to tell them I was trans. I figured I wanted to continue living with them, but I wanted to be honest. If they did not accept me then I would get my own place. I took asked my roommate to accompany me on a walk and I told her. She was supportive but had to tell her husband. We decided not to tell the thirteen year old kid.
A week later, she told me she had told her husband and he did not care. In that moment we started calling each other sisters. He is my brother in law and the kid is now my niece. (I have the Dance Aunt shirt to prove it) I had found my family after my blood relatives had all passed except my grandmother in Houston who was in a nursing home, but she had told me I was not family so I paid no mind. A week later was my supposed to be my birthday and a party was planned and then Covid was released on the world in full force and the United states and the whole world said "Fuck this shit!" and canceled my birthday. Two days later the governor decided to cancel elective surgeries and my weight loss surgery was gone. Then as would be a weird year the doctor called and told me it was deemed non elective and back on, so on March 25th 2020, with a pandemic raging, I had my weight loss surgery and pulled through. All this time, my family was packing and moving and I was useless. I laid there in the recliner.
A week later, watching Goodburger on Television. It felt wrong, something was wrong. I yelled at my niece and she ran to her parents room. By the time her mom made it out I was having seizures and in and out of consciousness. I do not remember much until the paramedics got there and deadname me, which pissed me off, I have not went by that name in four years, even my sister did not know my dead name, nor did she tell them. According to her, I was not responding to her, but the moment they said my dead name, I was like that is not my name and I was back lol arguing and furious at the medics. It was as if the deadname was officially dying. They rushed me to the hospital and I was heavy bleeding from my rectal area. Pooping constantly. I was dying and did not know it. Fast forward and I had had a surgery complication mixed with an ulcer and required three or four blood transfusions from the blood loss. Had I been natal female I would have died, had my niece argued and waited fifteen minutes I would not have survived and passed away. My niece saved my life. She is my hero.
Honestly, looking back I think this was the actual death of my deadname and I ,Maddy, having shed all my bonds was now able to live unchained. I recovered and I went back home. With teddy bear my niece sent me at the hospital. I am here today thank goodness. This also helped me to now get GRS. (More later). A couple months later and my niece came out as bisexual and had a girlfriend. I could not be prouder and with her mothers blessing, I told her I was T. We grew close. We are very close and I support her and she supports me. I eventually went back to work and I began to loose a lot of weight. In August I learned , Crane was now accepting in network my insurance and that really sped up my surgery. I gathered my letter and forwarded them to the crane center and the journey was now set. I begin to work excessive hours at work and saving and saving and saving. I got hair removal and during this I learned to navigate insurance because I was getting certified as a medical billing and coding specialist and I got certified. I discovered thanks to the ulcer I wiped out my out of pocket for the year and at the beginning of October, I owed only 463 dollars until my insurance covered my surgery at a hundred percent. With therapist visits and doctor visits, I have whittled that down some about a hundred dollars, but I decided to add in breast augmentation, If I was not having to pay for it why the heck not. So thus began the process of waiting for surgery and new boobs as a Christmas present. I continued working. For Christmas the only things I asked for was the ice maxi pads and bulk bottles of lube. I have collected surgical tape, gloves, a hundred and fifty maxipads from work that I took over the last year, they are free for women so I figured I would slowly accumulate them. I got a start and on Christmas, my sister gave me a pink butterfly lunch bag and a card telling me she is proud of me and is happy my dream is happening and to all ways be me. I love her. So now at my current weight of 272 and loosing it is now 60 days until surgery and I figured I should write one to see how far I have come and to let people know what may lie ahead for them as many others have done for me.
This is my day 1/60 and I hope it helps all to know that while 2020 sucked all around in my world it was one of my best years. Count your blessings, everyday, make 2021 an amazing year and also remember the last thing I almost died last seeing was the horrible movie ,Goodburger, so it can not get worse then that lol Thanks, Maddy- Day 1/60 Days till surgery
I will say that while this past year has been a scat storm, one for the history books! It has actually been a remarkable one for me, personally. About this time last year I learned how awesome my company is in regards to transition coverage. So I set up my GRS consult. I met with my surgeon, Dr. Santucci at the Crane Center for Transgender Surgery (CCTS) in Austin, TX. on February 26th. We had decided to do the surgery in December of 2020 or January 2021.
Then the 27th hit and our landlord decided that she wanted to sell the house my roommates, their child and myself lived in. At this time they did not know that I was T. This time the pandemic was just beginning to emerge from its lair and instead of heeding warning we went to the circus twice (I did not know the show would be a year long.) Following this, I had my pre-op appointment for my weight loss surgery and having started off 2019 at 426 pounds I was going to die. I lost forty pounds to get this. I was at 383 pounds and was ready for surgery. We were packing our belongings and I had a decision to make. I had a place to go but my roommates had become family and I was lying to them so I had to decide to tell them I was trans. I figured I wanted to continue living with them, but I wanted to be honest. If they did not accept me then I would get my own place. I took asked my roommate to accompany me on a walk and I told her. She was supportive but had to tell her husband. We decided not to tell the thirteen year old kid.
A week later, she told me she had told her husband and he did not care. In that moment we started calling each other sisters. He is my brother in law and the kid is now my niece. (I have the Dance Aunt shirt to prove it) I had found my family after my blood relatives had all passed except my grandmother in Houston who was in a nursing home, but she had told me I was not family so I paid no mind. A week later was my supposed to be my birthday and a party was planned and then Covid was released on the world in full force and the United states and the whole world said "Fuck this shit!" and canceled my birthday. Two days later the governor decided to cancel elective surgeries and my weight loss surgery was gone. Then as would be a weird year the doctor called and told me it was deemed non elective and back on, so on March 25th 2020, with a pandemic raging, I had my weight loss surgery and pulled through. All this time, my family was packing and moving and I was useless. I laid there in the recliner.
A week later, watching Goodburger on Television. It felt wrong, something was wrong. I yelled at my niece and she ran to her parents room. By the time her mom made it out I was having seizures and in and out of consciousness. I do not remember much until the paramedics got there and deadname me, which pissed me off, I have not went by that name in four years, even my sister did not know my dead name, nor did she tell them. According to her, I was not responding to her, but the moment they said my dead name, I was like that is not my name and I was back lol arguing and furious at the medics. It was as if the deadname was officially dying. They rushed me to the hospital and I was heavy bleeding from my rectal area. Pooping constantly. I was dying and did not know it. Fast forward and I had had a surgery complication mixed with an ulcer and required three or four blood transfusions from the blood loss. Had I been natal female I would have died, had my niece argued and waited fifteen minutes I would not have survived and passed away. My niece saved my life. She is my hero.
Honestly, looking back I think this was the actual death of my deadname and I ,Maddy, having shed all my bonds was now able to live unchained. I recovered and I went back home. With teddy bear my niece sent me at the hospital. I am here today thank goodness. This also helped me to now get GRS. (More later). A couple months later and my niece came out as bisexual and had a girlfriend. I could not be prouder and with her mothers blessing, I told her I was T. We grew close. We are very close and I support her and she supports me. I eventually went back to work and I began to loose a lot of weight. In August I learned , Crane was now accepting in network my insurance and that really sped up my surgery. I gathered my letter and forwarded them to the crane center and the journey was now set. I begin to work excessive hours at work and saving and saving and saving. I got hair removal and during this I learned to navigate insurance because I was getting certified as a medical billing and coding specialist and I got certified. I discovered thanks to the ulcer I wiped out my out of pocket for the year and at the beginning of October, I owed only 463 dollars until my insurance covered my surgery at a hundred percent. With therapist visits and doctor visits, I have whittled that down some about a hundred dollars, but I decided to add in breast augmentation, If I was not having to pay for it why the heck not. So thus began the process of waiting for surgery and new boobs as a Christmas present. I continued working. For Christmas the only things I asked for was the ice maxi pads and bulk bottles of lube. I have collected surgical tape, gloves, a hundred and fifty maxipads from work that I took over the last year, they are free for women so I figured I would slowly accumulate them. I got a start and on Christmas, my sister gave me a pink butterfly lunch bag and a card telling me she is proud of me and is happy my dream is happening and to all ways be me. I love her. So now at my current weight of 272 and loosing it is now 60 days until surgery and I figured I should write one to see how far I have come and to let people know what may lie ahead for them as many others have done for me.
This is my day 1/60 and I hope it helps all to know that while 2020 sucked all around in my world it was one of my best years. Count your blessings, everyday, make 2021 an amazing year and also remember the last thing I almost died last seeing was the horrible movie ,Goodburger, so it can not get worse then that lol Thanks, Maddy- Day 1/60 Days till surgery
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