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A sophiesticated (pun intended) way to the top

Ann Sophie

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Yep, you're definitely right, I'm right in the euphoric state of the first steps. And I know this won't be an eternal state. The important question is now: How can I retain most of this feelings although the rate of slow progress will put a pressure on my psyche. Which things were it for you which made transition hard after the first steps? What can I prepare for und what I'll just have to endure? I've promised myself that I'll never go to that point of thinking that live makes no sense anymore ever again! I promised myself after my suicidal attempt at the age of 21 and after my ex left me I was much too close to this abyss again... it scared the hell out of me...
 

OzGirl

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I can't really advise you on the stage after the euphoric first weeks. I fought transition for 60 years because I thoughtI would lose everything, and that thought crushed me for 6 months after my euphoria wore off. But I hadn't come out to anybody other than my wife, and I was very afraid to tell others. Of course, when I did, I found my fears were unfounded, and those horror 6 months were simply not warranted.

You are in a different position, and can hang on to some of that euphoria as your body slowly gets used to it's new hormone situation. The feeling will probably dwindle, but you will have other feelings which will carry you through! Enjoy it!

Hugs,

Allie
 

Linde

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Sophie, once your body is used to the new hormone level, the euphoric feelings turn into the feeling of normal, and you just enjoy your day to day living with the new you, and enjoy every new development of yourself.
Once you are in it for as long as I am, living as a woman is just a normal life for me, and like for me, I barely can remember my former life as a man.
Everything is for me now pretty much the same like it is for other older women, and actually like it also is for younger women
Amber's and my life are not that different, we are just two women.
In just a few months from now, you will have reached this point, too, and will enjoy your day to day life as a woman.

Hugs
Linde
 

Monica

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Yep, you're definitely right, I'm right in the euphoric state of the first steps. And I know this won't be an eternal state. The important question is now: How can I retain most of this feelings although the rate of slow progress will put a pressure on my psyche. Which things were it for you which made transition hard after the first steps? What can I prepare for und what I'll just have to endure? I've promised myself that I'll never go to that point of thinking that live makes no sense anymore ever again! I promised myself after my suicidal attempt at the age of 21 and after my ex left me I was much too close to this abyss again... it scared the hell out of me...
Waiting for the next step was excruciating at times. I think trying to stay in the middle, emotionally, worked for me. Realizing the highest highs and the lowest lows were not the true state of normalcy helped me cope. Cut off the tops and bottoms. Why cut off the tops? Well, because it couldn't be maintained, and if I gave into the biggest highs I would sometimes come crashing down. That hurt! I also tried to look for small steps forward and used them to keep my sanity. The big steps don't come very often, so the small steps would be like a snack between meals. Know that your presentation will become more like you want it over time. The graphs of 'being at ease' versus 'feeling awkward' go in opposite directions. Awkwardness is a necessary step with a life change of this magnitude, it's baked in. It does get better each month. I kind of looked at things like, "I'm becoming more 'me' each day." Each positive thing I did made it happen quicker, any negative side road made it take longer. Finally, discipline plays a part in the whole process. Allow yourself setbacks and sad days. They happen on this roller coaster! Don't give in to the doubts though, keep an eye on the long term and know they are bumps, not mountains. Don't allow yourself to wallow in negative thoughts after a certain point. Get up, dust yourself off, and start walking forward again! Best advice I can think of Sophie, I hope it helps.
Moni
 

Ann Sophie

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Thanks for your kind advice 🥰 I know there's no template for transition for every transition is unique by its very own. But as we have some common things in our past, we face some similar struggles while we make our way to who we truly are on the inside 💃

Yesterday i've been shopping for sweaters in person and it's still full of excitement to be in the ladies section in a store, take the clothes into the cabine and try them out. Wow... it's so relieving 😍 I really have to be cautious that I don't spent all my months earnings for stuff because I've thrown my eyes on a cute handbag. This will be one of my future investments :sneaky: Still there're corners in the store where I'm too shy to go into: womens underwear. But this won't be too long before I have to, because my breast area is doing stuff 🤣 (at least I think so).

I also made real progress with weight loss. I started with 84,5kg (186lbs) in March and now I'm on my lowest with 70,3kg (146lbs) ((Height is 174cm / 68,5inch)). Everything controlled still with my mostly mediterrinean diet, less meat and fish, mainly proteins, fruits and fat connected to regular jogging. But what I had for the first time last week were cravings. I really had to eat danish hot dogs with sweet remoulade and sweet pickles but with onions and garlic 🥴

Still feeling euphoric, still practicing with the voice - but I get my stuff down and every step forward so far was freeing.
 
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Ann Sophie

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I stumbled upon this video today. It shows Chester Bennington from the band Linkin Park three years ago shortly before he commited suicide. In my youth I was deeply connected to Chester and his bands songs because the sentences he sang and the way how he performed them resembled feelings I had but didn't fully understand yet. Why the awakened feelings inside me were so weird - almost not tangible.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes.
(Linkin Park - Numb)


Listening to this songs made me outrageous, frustrated, sad... it was like he sang about parts of my life right in the feels. And with the time moving on this feeling of not being connected to myself pressured myself, it took so much energy that I nearly failed to live. I tried so hard to be someone else that I never gave myself the chance to understand who I am. I was walking in shoes I forced on my feet by myself. Out of fear, out of hopelessness.

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced)
(That there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
(Linkin Park - Crawling)


In the room between inner and my outer self grew hatred against everyone. Why on earth was I put under such pressure of suffering, what had I done to deserve this? I withdrew to my room and my online games and started to live my life on my own in a illusory world, still denying myself, not showing others my pain and struggle.

'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass
Hardly anything there for you to see
For you to see
(Linkin Park - Castle of glass)


I fixed this crack the way I always tried to deal with obstacles: I superseded it with focussing on studies, being the male everyone expected me to be, still walking in these way too big pair of boots. At this time I began not only to hate the world for being like she was, I started to hate myself for being how I was.

I don't like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go, but there's comfort in the panic

And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me
Yeah, I drive myself crazy
'Cause I can't escape the gravity

I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
To so much more than I can carry
(Linkin Park feat. Kiiara - Heavy)


THIS was my dysphoria right in the sheets! Today I understand it has been there for so long. The feeling of my whole life being disconnected from myself, me running through it like a robot on autopilot, merely functioning, not myself. I was the puppet and the puppeteer in one person. Yes there were people who could have made an outing very painful in my youth. But the decision of denying instead of experiencing myself was my very own. Sophie has been imprisoned for so long. Felix was functioning well so that everyone around me thought everything would be ok like Chester did as husband, father, band mate...

In this video above he mentions this "bad neighbourhood" in his had, this feeling of being helpless on his own. I know this feeling too well and it still haunts me up today. I was stuck in this helix of self defiance, fear, sadness. I was ready to marry and get kids and now I'm happy that I didn't.

My dysphoria has already damaged my soul and left deep scars on it. Chester said that he began to understand people and world diffently because he's been through crazy stuff with hisself. I can see that now. In my eyes the world might be a little bit different compared to the view of others. Not better, not worse, just... different. There's something like a primal trust in things, in people, in a future which could be brighter than the past and dysphoria took that from me until now. I hate my body the way it is! I hate this alien between my legs, this hair everywhere, this maleness of it. This discomfort has been there for so long. Now I have a word for it.

Unlike Chester Bennington I tried, but didn't end my life by myself. Although I strayed around finding answers to the questions I always had for so many more years, I now see the way clearly in front of me, maybe for the very first time.

I have to reconnect with myself, I have to love myself, I have to be confident that I'm good in how I am and do things and how I face future. I will change the things I can and will learn to accept the things I can't. For I have been born female, but in a male body.

Dysphoria can cause depression. Depression can cause tremendous suffering. This suffering can cause suicide.
We are still here alive and kicking and still fighting to break this cycle. For me I have the feeling to have chosen the right path for the very first time in my entire life.

The more I dive into HRT, the more I've got the feeling to free myself from this grasp of negativity. But this challenge isn't by far over yet because I have to experience not only the bright side of being my female self, no, I have to refurbish the most stuff I've kept imprisoned inside alongside Sophie.

I feel that I'm now ready for that.

Thank you Chester, thank you Linkin Park.
 
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Monica

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Sophie, I can now look back on my transition, for it is almost completely finished. My life didn't start when I was 20, 50, or 90% finished. The journey, the emergence from pain, even when a good bit of pain remained, was valuable. You have started a journey of discovery and I am joyful for you. Appreciate this time, soak it in, and don't think the joy will start when this or that happens. Celebrate your awakening when you can. I do enjoy hearing of your new found self awareness!
 

Ann Sophie

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Sophie, I can now look back on my transition, for it is almost completely finished. My life didn't start when I was 20, 50, or 90% finished. The journey, the emergence from pain, even when a good bit of pain remained, was valuable. You have started a journey of discovery and I am joyful for you. Appreciate this time, soak it in, and don't think the joy will start when this or that happens. Celebrate your awakening when you can. I do enjoy hearing of your new found self awareness!
I really do, dear @Moni. My breast areas hurt really when being touched and they`re emerging a small bit, enough to spread tears of joy because a year ago it was just a far away dream that I could ever have breast development. My face is getting a little bit softer (don't expect too much some weeks into HRT!), beard growth is getting slower and the shade is getting brighter with each session. I know it could stop anytime, but I take the moment with its advances as it is.

My life is a rollercoaster... On thursday I had a really nice women's evening with two friends. The one is the girlfriend of my best friend and the other is her flatmate, Sophia. Sophia met me for the first time and we connected immediately, she was totally curious and we talked about my transition, what being trans* means for me. But after that first curiosity we three just opened a bottle of white wine and it was like they introducing me into their circle. We talked about men (yes!) and even about female only topics like gynecologists. They even commended me some docs if I would ever need one 😅 This evening went and the hours passed, we also have been out (me fully en femme) to get some fresh alcohol.
Later this evening we talked about our fears of losing beloved people and I could share some of my experiences from the past. It got really emotional and eventually we hugged each other in tears.

I can't desrcibe this feeling... it was one of the first times in my life that a felt accepted the way I am while me being the real me... It was so intense that I missed my alarms on friday and came to work late, my collagues covering me 🙈

And as I mentioned... my life is a rollercoaster... someone just doesn't want me off the hook... two days after I shared my experiences about the death of my dad and my sister-in-law the message of my 100 years old grandmom passing away in the night to saturday reached my family...
Yes... she was 100 years old, a monumental age and she has surpassed her husband by 14 years and my dad by 5 years... But still the feeling of me outing myself to her and she despite being this old and being raised in a totally different time was so accepting and comforting. It just crushes me... In the midst of October I attended her birthday with all of my family in 100% en femme... this last hours with her and my family were such a freeing event...
No these experiences aren't gone, but the feeling of my aunts mourning their moms death and our whole family being in grief again is like a torture. I ask myself, why there couldn't be a moment of rest. Just two, three years without happening something to my family, the ones I love the most.
I know she had a fulfilled life in a family that stands together in every obstacle it has faced. She endured the death of her husband and her youngest son and still was a quite silent, but always sincere and intelligent woman who loved a good glass of red wine.
Phew...

Did I mention that my life is a rollercoaster? On wednesday will be my outing at my collegues and I will start to open the last area bit by bit where I can't be my true self right now. This event can be a very succesful and happy one... or the opposite, we'll see.

Transition, by far, is a very challenging time with all its wonders and obstacles.
 

Monica

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I love to hear of your joys and accomplishments, and I'm sad for the tough things you are seeing. My condolences! It reminds me of a few years ago for me. In the midst of great leaps in my progress, seeing dreams come true, my oldest brother died of cancer and a very dear friend was killed in a car accident. I found myself very depressed for a while. Somewhere in talking on a forum, someone made a comment that I clung to and adapted to bring me back. They said, "Don't let the darkness kill your light." It meant nothing to them, an off handed comment, but it made me think about making room for all my emotions, even when mourning. I try to live by that. Good luck with your coworkers!
 

Linde

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This was my first. Just on the upper part of the right breast.


Hugs
Linde

cleavage.jpg
 

Ann Sophie

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It is done, myladies and gents. The first of several huge steps in school has been completed!
On wednesday I've informed my collegues via zoom conference, there was no other way because covid is prohibiting us to have a gathering this huge in school, which I would have prefered because I would've liked to see the reactions to my outing in person.

I was so damn nervous during the conference while all the work related stuff was discussed and I was sitting in my room with the list of topics to discuss counting them down o_O And then the curtain fell, my principal closed the official meeting, gave me the stage to announce and I just started to tell my matter with rising emotions taking over. Gosh was that intense. For those who're interested, I didn't write down me speech but made like an outline in before.

What I've said was like this:
Dear collegues,

thank you for staying in the room and following my request although we all had a long day of work and a conference to accomplish.
As the ones of you who now know me for more than two years since I joined this school recognized huge changes in my appearance I have the urge to tell you why this is happening:
I am transgender, which means, in my case, I identify as a female trapped in a males body. The name I chose will be Sophie. I've got this feeling since my early kids days and tried to supress them out of fear of being ridiculed and loosing people I love. I finally decided to become my true self.
I really like working here with you as I felt and still feel accepted and valued despite being a rookie two years ago and I wish and hope that you will accept me in the same way for a second time.
I know that I put a burden on you all for keeping this nearly non-secret within our lines because the last huge step will be the outing to the pupils and parents. I'm sorry for giving you the request to keep your questions and my real name within our teacher's rooms for the time being. This means I won't come to school in a dress or in skirt or definite female clothing and makeup for a matter of time but the days this gonna happen surely will come.

If you have questions you can write me via email and you have my phone number or just approach me in the next days / weeks or months and I will be happy to answer most of your questions if they're not of a too personal nature.

Thank you for your time and see you tomorrow at work.
Sophie

And then I got overwhelmed by the amount of messages I received. So many of my collegues wrote me via phone and email and I got so many nice words that I shed in tears so hard. I didn't expect this wave of acceptance and I'm sill stunned by it. Collegues came to my teachers bureau next day to ask questions and showing me their respect and most of them are open to it. I know there are others who aren't this supportive, but they're in the minority!
The situation at school still is precarious, because there's still this threat of people giving me a hardship, especially the parents of my pupils. But for now I just enjoy the moment and the huge step I a have achieved!

On friday I also received the results of my first blood sample after starting my HRT:
E is on 101 ng/l (?)
T is on 0,763 µg/l (?)
FAI is on 4,8

He didn't tell me the units, so I assumed them? Maybe you can tell me something about the results as he said E is looking very good and T is supressed in a way we wish for. I'll get the printed results on monday for more clarity. I take it as they are, especially the T being supressed, yay!
But I still wonder why my body is reacting this fast. Everyone told my like it will take month for me to achieve a female level of hormones and this test was taken in the 5th week of HRT after the last test inbefore showed completely normal results for a male body 🤔 This connected to my really low T-value in September after taking the last pill in the midst of May still makes me wonder why... My body is strange... but hey, he complies to HRT really fast, I appreciate that although the pain in my nipples is a real thing 😵

I also had my fourth laser session yesterday! The pain there is getting less for me having less hair in my face 🥳 especially the cheecks really look better now but still the area above the lips is horrific... when she worked over there it drove the tears into my eyes! But she said that our laser sessions will hugely reduce the number of sessions under the needle. She put a small amount of hours recommendes to my insurance and said we could use them eliminating some hair at areas beneath my face 🙃

Aaaaaaaaaaand puberty initially hits me 😄 I caught myself being a little bit sassy this week 🙊 some of my friends noticed and told me not to be this bitchy. Ohhhh they gotta learn that there'll be a pattern! 💁‍♀️ In addition I'm really emotional today, really crying most of the day, of course I still think much of my granny and I really miss her, but I'm so happy that she gave me the opportunity to be welcomed by my family and herself... but unfortunately not by all. My aunt, her oldest daughter, told me that she prefers to have my deadname on the death note... I accepted because I didn't want to make a fuss with a woman who had lost her mom two days ago. But one of my cousins yesterday wrote via whatsapp to me that they're angry about this.

It's this phase of in between. Dysphoria (which I don't want talk about right now... it's there...) kicks in, transition gives me the power to deal with most of it but it takes energy.
I'm standing between the lines of people who have no problem to accept me and those who either need their time or don't want to... in family (my mom really takes effort to see the daughter in my, my brother still calls me by my deadname which hurts...), in greater family (my aunt putting my deadname on the death note, my cousins being angry about that and defending me...) and school (collegues making their steps to me and cheering me for bravement, the ones who look with a dismissive glare at me...).

Because of all of this, today I'm exhausted. Maybe because of that I'm crying from time to time, sometimes happy, sometimes sad...

Christmas holidays will be highly appreciated!

And then there still is covid...
 

Donica

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Sophie! Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on your HRT results. Some folks need a little time to take this all in. Be patient with them, but by all means be a little more insistent of those like family members that feel they don't have to use proper names and pronouns just because they are family. It takes time even for those that are genuinely trying, and there will be mistakes of course. Sadly, there isn't much you can do about the negative people around you, except to simply ignore them. Those people are not true friends anyway. Hopefully none of them are work colleagues.

Hugs!
 
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Monica

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Sophie, so happy to hear that you experienced this high of telling your school coworkers. I can't help but think back to my own, very similar experience. It is so uplifting isn't it. And yes, I get the nerves. You should be very proud of yourself. As for the questionable people, act classier than them. I was determined that if anyone was to show themselves to be a jerk it would be the naysayers, not me. Once the new reality becomes more firmly entrenched, many will come around. This is my forth year at my job as me and no one is negative and I've managed to extinguish any misgendering. One friend even told me she forgot my old name. So, enjoy the good, soak it in! Know that much of the negative will eventually go.
 

Ann Sophie

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Sophie, so happy to hear that you experienced this high of telling your school coworkers. I can't help but think back to my own, very similar experience. It is so uplifting isn't it. And yes, I get the nerves. You should be very proud of yourself. As for the questionable people, act classier than them. I was determined that if anyone was to show themselves to be a jerk it would be the naysayers, not me. Once the new reality becomes more firmly entrenched, many will come around. This is my forth year at my job as me and no one is negative and I've managed to extinguish any misgendering. One friend even told me she forgot my old name. So, enjoy the good, soak it in! Know that much of the negative will eventually go.
@Donica and @Moni I will be patient! Hell, patience should be my third name for what I have endured until now. Still it's the feeling that I'm still a first timer for so many experiences.

There are so many allies right now I stopped counting. There will be a point where I can focus on my transition and what's ahead when I know my future at this school is settled and I'm working hard for that moment. For now I have real hopes that'll work out fine.
 

Ann Sophie

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Sooooo I had my first malefail recently 🥰 🥰 I called the employment agency because my contract with my school will expire at 31st of March 2021 and in Germany you have to announce this at least three month in before when you wish to recieve unemployment benefit. I just greeted her with my surname without telling her my deadname because legally it's not official yet. So we talked a little bit about the data she needed when she adressed me as Mrs. XX and was confused and apologized for there stood a male name in her sheets 😅😅😅 I told her I'n trans* and that she doesn't need to apologize because she sensed absolutely everything right. That made me and still makes me smile - so my voice training goes into the right direction 💁‍♀️

Yaaaaaaaay!
 

Linde

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Congrats, that seems to be going well.
Now that I have my new designer voice, any misgendering on the phone is a thing of the past. My average frequency is around 220 Hz, nicely in the middle of the female frequency range.

Hugs
Linde
 

Ann Sophie

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I'm back again *sing*

The holidays are over, my laptop broke down and I managed to get my old one online whose monitor is broke so I have my television in front of my bed and my old lappy connected via HDMI.

The holidays were great and hard at the same time. After school was out I put myself into isolation and got tested negative (again) for covid. I was in fear of having to live through christmas alone if my results would have been positive and I feel like a lucky honeybee that I was able to see my small family, my mother, my nephew and my brother with his new girlfriend, over christmas.

The moment I stepped out to travel to my family I was 100% en femme, not that I wasn't en femme in before at home, I just wore more of leisure stuff like pyjamas and so on 👧 I felt so good and relieved when I was able to just be myself and - at this point of my HRT - be the best I can be at this moment. It made me chuckle when I stepped into the car in my polka dotted dark blue coat and I was hoping for my mom acknowledging me. Yes, that is very important to me that others see my changes through transition because my goal still is to be as passable as I can be and these baby steps just feel so right and getting the progress confirmed by others is a bliss.
Over the holidays my mom, brother and his girlfriend always talked to me as Sophie. I could wear what I wanted. It was this around that my nephew, 5yo, asked why I wore woman's clothes for I was a male and I tried to explain to him why I did that. This hurted because kids are honest, adults not always are, and in his chlidish honest nature he showed me the actual position of my transition. To his defend I hadn't put makeup that day but the results on putting on can't be this huge if a child this young still sees the old me. On the other hand, I'm in the 3rd month of HRT so what results should I expect until now? Patience is the word to be... and it hurts because my disphoria is growing. I have the feeling that I must act, that I must take action in my transition with several things a can have an influence on. The fears that kept me at bay for so long... they're here and I try to cope with them.

Evenings like the christmas eve help with that. My family saw me in a plaid, dark blue long skirt for the 1st time. In addition I wore a dark green sweater with a sequin penguin wearing a christmas hat. When I saw this sweater online I just HAD to buy it and the feeling of being in my family, accepted and treated as one of them, was so heartwarming. Although my nephew often calls me by my soon to be deadname it's ok, I love him and he will get accostumed to the changes by the time.
This time in family was a relief, but when I finally was able to drive back home I was happy to, because I love my family but family can be sooooo stressfull at some time - I think you know what I mean.

Back at home, back in isolation, back into being with myself I started to feel worse again. It was like I was lacking some of my accomplishments, that I was somewhat stuck. And not being able to be someone else, not having someone besides me while most of my friends are in relationships, is very, very hard. I'm growing envious at this very moment again.
It's since March 20 that I'm mostly on my own and I miss someone at my side. And when I fall asleep and when I wake up it's mostly the same desire: I want a man at my side. I want someone to hold me, someone to accept me as I am and love me for that. But on the other side I don't feel ready for that because I still feel ugly as hell and this 'thing' between my legs HAS TO GO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! I want to be with a man, emotionally AND sexually, but still having this abomination between my legs makes me suffer for I'm not able to think of a possibility to be with a man being like this...

Despite I fought with these feelings (and still do) new years eve was very special for me, because I was able to express myself in a special way: wearing a black dress, having full makeup on, making the best of my hear I could with this length I have, even having lipstick on my lips for the very first time outside and wearing heels. So I stepped into 2021 with my best friend Basti and his gf Manuela in the best way I could: a little bit buzzed, full dressed up as me - what a start to be!
Actually it's e very important time, because I tend to make decisions of my own for... it feels like... the very first time in my life. I upped my dose of E (not without let my endo know) because of the feeling of being stuck and it helped after a few days.

Breast development is there. Hell yeah I orderd my first bras last week, 40AA (?) (in Germany: 85A) and when they arrived I was a bit disappointed when my breast didn't fill out the cups 100%, but they're on a good way 🥰

Last friday was the funeral of my grandmom. I wanted to give her the highest respect, so I humbly dressed. It was very special to see my huge family (the funeral was a tree burial in a forest, open air and we all wore our masks, no hugs...) and I was dressed as I felt to. Nearly everyone accepted me the way I was and this was a relief because I was able to pay the respect my grandmom deserved for being such a lovely person.

For now I have return to home, school has begun again with teaching in the safety of my home, which again give time to ponder over everything.

No one has said trainsition would be easy. Most have said it will be a very hard way and I begin to understand why being a babytrans.

But... and this is a huge BUT: I wouldn't have it any other way!
 

TonyaJanelle

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Hi Sophie, sounds like overall you had good holidays. Don't get too down about your nephew's reactions. He'll surprise you one day. My grandson (almost 14 now) suddenly stated using my pronouns correctly nearly 100% and even has corrected other family when they've screwed up. Still calls me grandpa though. I'm ok with that but it'd be nice if we could find another term.

I stepped into 2021 with my best friend Basti and his gf Manuela in the best way I could: a little bit buzzed, full dressed up as me - what a start to be!

An awesome way to bring in the Year. Congratulations.
 

Linde

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Hello Sophie, it is great to hear that you are marching along with your transition.
Nit to ling ago, I found out how important the voice is for being gendered right. I used to have a decent female sounding voice, until my problems with my vocal cords startet, and my voice got low and rough. I was misgendered on the phone all the time. It was very frustrating.
Now that I have my implants installed in my vocal cords, I have a femal sounding voice again and do not experience anymore misgendering.

The forum is luvky to have now a member who is a professional voice parhologist,and she is willing to answer ourvoice related quedtions.

Hugs
Linde
 
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