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Lara

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Feb 19, 2021
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3
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My name is Lara, I am here looking for people who have shared common ground with me. Would like to socialise as myself in a place I can feel more comfortable with. I have been speaking to my GP about receiving hormone replacement therapy and would like to come out to freinds and family. So ummm... yeah, hello.
 

KathyLauren

Casting off dull certainty
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Dec 24, 2019
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Hi, Lara. Welcome to Trans Refuge!

You have come to the right place. We are quite a social bunch here, and we are happy to listen, commiserate, share ideas, celebrate, whatever you need.
 

OzGirl

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Hi Lara, and welcome to our Refuge! our members have a broad range of lived experiences of being trans, so we are happy to help others on this journey. It might help if we know a little more about you, like approximate age, where you live, married, and that sort of thing. Please feel free to ask any questions, and I hope you will find that we are really a caring commuunity!

Hugs,

Allie
 

Monica

Fight for self love!
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Hi Lara, my name is Monica or 'Moni.' Welcome, we love new friends. Feel free to share, we are here to support and share. I've been where you are a few years ago. Been through a lot since then, but happy now! Anyway, look forward to hearing more about you!
 

Linde

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Hello Lara, I am also a person who reached the final desired goal, similar to Happy Monica.
But all of us have been at the same starting point you are currently, and we are ready to take you by the hand if needed.

Look around and enjoy the company.


Hugs
Linde
 

Lara

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Hi Lara, and welcome to our Refuge! our members have a broad range of lived experiences of being trans, so we are happy to help others on this journey. It might help if we know a little more about you, like approximate age, where you live, married, and that sort of thing. Please feel free to ask any questions, and I hope you will find that we are really a caring commuunity!

yeah I am 28yo and live in England, mostly wanna speak to people see what it is like for them to start coming out and what it was like for the while undergoing hormon replacement therapy.
 

Linde

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yeah I am 28yo and live in England, mostly wanna speak to people see what it is like for them to start coming out and what it was like for the while undergoing hormon replacement therapy.
I think some of our British members will come on soon, and can answer your questions.


Hugs
Linde
 

Confused

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Hi Lara,

Welcome to the Refuge. I think you will find many friendly people here that can help you with your questions. Feel free to look around and join in on some of the conversations so we can get to know each other better.

Hugs,
Mike
 

Donica

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Hi Lara! Nice to meet you and welcome to the Refuge. There are lots of like minded folks here I'm sure you'll find. See you around the forum.

Hugs!
 

OzGirl

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yeah I am 28yo and live in England, mostly wanna speak to people see what it is like for them to start coming out and what it was like for the while undergoing hormon replacement therapy.
Lara, these are pretty general questions so any of us can give answers! Coming out can be an awful experience, or some of the most wonderful feelings of your life. It depends on the people you come out to, and how you tell them you are trans. Most people associate trans with a sexual fetish, and will feel you are responsible for their uncomfortable feelings about this. I have found that by explaining to people that we have a medical condition caused in fetal development, they are much more accepting that we need treatment. It is far easier for people to accept a medical condition than a psychological one. 99% of the people I came out to this way have been amazingly supportive!

Starting HRT ususally means a significant reduction in genner dysphoria, that bad feeling that often comes and goes. Then, often a little frustration in the next couple of months as nothing seems to be happening. People will notice your skin softening, and comment that you look younger, even before you notice anything. When breast pain and development starts, a strong feeling of finally aligning with your gender identity begins, but those developing breasts can be quite painful and itchy!! You will notice a calmness, as stress slowly leaves you. Then you will likely enter a phase where things seem not to be happening fast enough! Natal puberty takes over 5 years and we also have to wait to complete ours, so HRT is a marathon, not a sprint!

I hope this helps some, and please, keep your questions coming. Know that there are others reading these posts who also have these questions but won't come on and post them, so you are helping others as you learn!

Hugs,

Allie
 
Last edited:

Lara

New member
Joined
Feb 19, 2021
Messages
3
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Nonbinary
Lara, these are pretty general questions so any of us can give answers! Coming out can be an awful experience, or some of the most wonderful feelings of your life. It depends on the people you come out to, and how you tell them you are trans. Most people associate trans with a sexual fetish, and will feel you are responsible for their uncomfortable freelinggs about this. I have found that by explaining to people that we have a medical condition caused in fetal development, they are much more accepting that we need treatment. It is far easier for people to accept a medical condition than a psychological one. 99% of the people I came out to this way have been amazingly supportive!

Starting HRT ususally means a significant reduction in genner dysphoria, that bad feeling that often comes and goes. Then, often a little frustration in the next couple of months as nothing seems to be happening. People will notice your skin softening, and comment that you look younger, even before you notice anything. When breast pain and development starts, a strong feeling of finally aligning with your gender identity begins, but those developing breasts can be quite painful and itchy!! You will notice a calmness, as stress slowly leaves you. Then you will likely enter a phase where things seem not to be happening fast enough! Natal puberty takes over 5 years and we also have to wait to complete ours, so HRT is a marathon, not a sprint!

I hope this helps some, and please, keep your questions coming. Know that there are others reading these posts who also have these questions but won't come on and post them, so you are helping others as you learn!

Hugs,

Allie
That was super helpful, thanks.
 

Monica

Fight for self love!
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Feb 1, 2020
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Hi Lara, coming out is more often better than you imagine. I pictured losing everyone I loved. I lost two people when I told a few hundred people. Like I say, many times it goes better than expected, but there are no guarantees. Controlling your own message is really key for having the best result possible. After all, you can't control how people receive your news, but you can present it the best way you can. I preferred telling people in person when possible. It is scary, but truly I think it provides the best result. Sometimes letters are necessary and I believe we have a thread that gives a few examples of how people have done this. I think under the coming out section. One thing that I found helpful in coming out was to be open about how much pain I was in not being true to myself. I was not shy about saying how much I tried to run from being trans and really how desperate I was to find happiness. I ended up getting a lot of empathy for my story and also, they felt respected that I told them face to face. Well, I'll stop there.
 

Donica

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@Lara, I provided a link below to the forum coming out letters some of us created when we came out to the world. We also have hormone replacement topics throughout the forum too. Do a forum search for HRT, and/or hormones, and many topics will come up about hormone replacement therapy. Hope this helps.

Hugs!

 
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